There’s nothing like a friend who knows you and has created the safety that allows us to be brutally honest with each other. My Parasitic Twin texted me today at 5:30. She is the actual best. I wanted to save this for later.
Last night Itchy and I were talking about something and I said FTW and he was like, do you know what that means? Of course I do! It means For The Win, duh and he was like, no mom, it means that other word that starts with F … the World. FUCK THE WORLD? Oh shit. […]
I miss the effortless beauty of youth although I wouldn’t trade it for the beauty of less-effort existence of middle age.
It had the makings of the best blog ever: me drunk, My Parasitic Twin, a home-grown surgical procedure, video, pain, humiliation, me arriving drunk at Wu’s door begging for free ER treatment … it had it all.
I don’t know how we got on the subject of queefing but we did and MPT told me that she can queef on command and I was like, YOU BETTER PROVE IT and she was all, NO WAY! so I was like, THEN I DON’T BELIEVE YOU and she was like, YES YOU DO, YOU JUST WANT TO SECRETLY VIDEO ME DOING IT FOR YOUR BLOG and I was like, YES, THAT IS TRUE BUT I DON’T HAVE MY PHONE WITH ME so she agreed to do it.
Me: SEE! EVEN SHE THINKS YOU ARE ASKING IF I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH MY DAD!
MPT: I WAS NOT! I WAS ONLY SAYING YOUR DAD IS HOT AND MAYBE YOU DIDN’T LIKE HIM BRINGING GIRLFRIENDS BY!
Part 2 of my epic Teton road trip takes us to Thermopolis, WY.
Yesterday wasn’t a good day. I had an interaction unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and not in a good way. I’m not going to elaborate except that I think understand what provoked it as well as the cultural and political differences that fueled the misunderstanding. The attacks on my blog, my humor, implications about my lifestyle (which […]
I have a new friend and up to this point I have referred to her simply as “Anne” (not her real name). I used it mostly has a placeholder until something with a little more pizazz came to mind. After hanging out with her for coming on five months, I finally have the perfect internet […]