Lipo Part 6: Post Op

Heather’s mantra was to show no expression no matter what. On our way over we did a reality check and went over all the ways in which I could be disappointed.

Lipo Part 5: Days 2 Through 4

AB and Mo wanted me to Facetime and I was like Bitches, please. Then they wanted to put me on speaker phone at the studio and I was like, will you please just leave me alone so I can watch my damn show?!

Lipo Part 4: One Day After

I was ready for today to bring the pain. Yesterday I was all hepped up on anesthesia and locals, not to mention all the pain meds so I wasn’t making any grand statements about how my recovery was going. I woke up this morning expecting to be in a lot of pain but was pleasantly […]

Lipo Part 2: The Night Before

Tomorrow is the big day, I go in for my belly button revision surgery and lipo of my abdomen and love handles. I haven’t had time to get nervous about it with all the upheaval at home. Between the Colorado Pole Championship and all the hubbub surrounding fixing the water damage on the second and […]

Swipe left, right, up, down … it’s all the same right?

She started screaming, “OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? THAT GUY COULD HAVE BEEN MY HUSBAND AND NOW HE THINKS I’M A CRAZY STALKER LADY!!”

Mo money mo problems (but with puke and shit)

The most traumatizing part of the appointment was taking the before pictures. Seriously, I think they may be more disturbing than the barfed up bunny but in the interest of full disclosure, here goes …