Questionable Meat (7337-7356)

Loony: Oh my god! What’s that terrible smell? Is it Blue’s face? Me: It’s dinner, motherfucker. I’m making cod cakes. Loony: Jesus … are they safe to eat? Me: Relax, I’ll cook them for a long time. These are actually really good. COD CAKES Be sure to let the cod cakes firm up in the […]

Sexting, My Way (6843-6853)

I just ate a whole loaf of bread at a Halloween party. And it wasn’t even that good. But I’m wearing a cow costume and I figured why not just go with it? This is the dumbest video ever. I have a Halloween costume philosophy. If it doesn’t show boobs, I don’t do it. Before […]

Homework (2198-2208)

I never thought I’d say this but … I can’t wait for the weekend. Asking a mom how her weekend was is like asking a nine-to-fiver how his Wednesday was. I’m all about Monday. Usually. It’s been years since I’ve looked forward to weekends because having kids means that work has just begun. The house gets […]