T*tty P*ssy F*ck

I was like, “HA! BOOBS!” and my kid was like, “Huh? What? Where?” and I pointed out the sticker and he was like, “That’s a face,” and I was like, “Yep, definitely not hitting puberty yet.”

Goodbye Blue

It is with the heaviest heart that I write that Blue died last night. We didn’t see it coming. He was in the midst of a full recovery from his last bout of giardia and clostridium. He was eating and pooping normally and his spirits were fine. He even did a stellar job of making sure […]

Tastes Like Squirrel

You know how in movies the hero will have a really horrible day and collapse into bed but it will take a second for her to relax? That was totally me a minute ago. The day I’ve had. It started at 6am when I went to Irmingard’s room to wake her up for her flight. Irm was […]

Tactical Pooper

I hope one day he will become a writer. Not because I think being a writer makes you special or worthy, but because I really like what he has to say and the way he says it.

Stranger Things

My boys don’t like horror, nor do I – but the classic monster narrative, the brilliant young cast and their hero’s journey, the set design, costuming and music – it all harkened back to my youth.

Pole Theatre 2016: Why I Host

The most important thing to report is that I TOOK A LAP DANCE CLASS WITH STEVEN RETCHLESS!

Stress Balls

“Not going to happen Mom,” said scratchy just 30 seconds before the fucking thing exploded all over the floor. The next one exploded at the park so I only had to get the glue and food coloring out of Itchy’s clothes and GOOD NEWS at least it was partly made of out laundry detergent.

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

… when Christmas is over. People, I tried. (If you haven’t already gathered, I wrote this a week ago but was too lazy to post it.) I tried super hard to be all Christmassy and I think I might have even kinda sorta pulled it off as far as my kids are concerned. However, I’m […]