Amidst the shit show of dogs and leash aggression I had a nice moment in the gloom of the morning with a very old friend.
I had the most remarkable conversation with Scratchy. I’ve never seen a kid as brave as him. He told me all the things he was scared of, all the fears, anxieties and worries that CENTER AROUND FEAR OF DISPLEASING ME. Oh god.
A woman noticed the cat in my shopping cart and said, “Oh those cats really shed,” and I was like, “It’s not problem, I always pick up a few of these when I go to the store. I got the brown tabby thing down.”
Then I picked up eight labrador retrievers in varying colors and headed home while trying to figure out the logistics of walking all these fucking dogs.
I slapped a name tag onto my boob and (under my name I wrote what I liked best about the school, The Parties!) and then I had a lot to drink BECAUSE I PAID $15 TO GET IN AND I WANTED MY MONEY’S WORTH!
If I lived within an HOA, absolutely none of my improvements would have been approved. Not the paint, not the coop, not the library, not the art, not the murals, not the animals, nothing.
I can’t believe how much this summer does not suck. Like, I’m really happy and shit.
Would you believe me if I told you that this was a randomly generated resolution? No lie. Have you heard about cat cafés? They are all the rage in Asia and Europe and they have made it to the states. It’s where you can get a coffee and pet a bunch of friggin’ cats. A friend […]
It’s no secret that I love cats. Actually no. I don’t love cats, I love to use cats. That’s right, love ’em and leave ’em, that’s what I do. Like any self-respecting lothario, I need a way to rate my conquests so I can brag about my experiences at the local watering hole – breakfast in […]
Despite the Arctic Haboob I am still alive and well, I just haven’t felt like writing. However, whenever Facebook alerts me that I’ve gotten 15 HITS on my page (woot!) I wonder if a having detailed account of my drunken exploits at the top of my blog is the best thing. I mean, shouldn’t we ease […]
That Fucking Cat strikes again! Last night a muffled cry of MOM MOM MOM! came from the boys’ room. Naturally I dropped everything and ran to their aid. Ha ha ha … no. I went into their room with a camera, natch. Testiclese was in bed with That Fucking Cat sitting on his face and he had […]