Most parents (or child-care involved people) will know about the potty talk phase. It’s when kids are obsessed with bodily functions. It usually subsides after about a year of telling them to knock it off but it has only gotten worse. Not my kids. Me. For a while I appeared to be obsessed with writing […]
The great irony is that of all the people to send that gaff, no one is more likely to write something like that on purpose.
Ranee (who doesn’t have a pseudonym yet) had twins – with a toddler already knocking around – and after a over a year in the k-hole, she re-emerged into my life … and with a mission. Dude, I used commas, parenthesis, and ellipses in one sentence. That has to be some kind of crime against […]
I like the names Oliver and Chief but I had cats with those names so that’s not cool. I love Smooch but I dated a guy who had a dog named Smoot, is that okay? It might have to be. I like Beasley but the short version is Bee and my neighbor has a dog named Bee. Rhubarb is cute but Barbie is a girl’s name. WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!
Do I miss my kids?
I lived with my secret until I found a good time to (have a huge fight) break the news to Loony. I did it over coffee this morning.
I have some misgivings about sharing this next part because it might just cross a line but that just means I absolutely must share it. Come what may.
Day three of being home and I’m still passing out at 7:00 and wide awake by 3:30am. I guess watching chicken documentaries in my living room isn’t the best way to stay awake.
I told the boys to prepare themselves for luxury. There will be blankets, pillows, free drinks, movies, and lots of food that doesn’t come from my backpack.
I usually argue with Loony about the most trife shit but I back down immediately when it comes to directions. Let’s just say that he’s more likely to guess how to get around a city he’s completely unfamiliar with than me, even if I was born and raised there.