Without missing a beat I said, “There’s only one in Boulder,” and she looked at me like I lost my mind.
I found these two memes on the internet. Together they reflect the highs and lows of motherhood, especially when you look at the context which is always, and forever, humor.
Heather’s mantra was to show no expression no matter what. On our way over we did a reality check and went over all the ways in which I could be disappointed.
AB and Mo wanted me to Facetime and I was like Bitches, please. Then they wanted to put me on speaker phone at the studio and I was like, will you please just leave me alone so I can watch my damn show?!
I was ready for today to bring the pain. Yesterday I was all hepped up on anesthesia and locals, not to mention all the pain meds so I wasn’t making any grand statements about how my recovery was going. I woke up this morning expecting to be in a lot of pain but was pleasantly […]
I just dropped an Oxy and it says it takes 20 minutes to reach full strength so I’m going to write this as fast as I can because I’m guessing that blogging on it is like drunk posting to the max. For the record, I would really like it if the painkillers didn’t make me spacey. It’s interesting […]
Tomorrow is the big day, I go in for my belly button revision surgery and lipo of my abdomen and love handles. I haven’t had time to get nervous about it with all the upheaval at home. Between the Colorado Pole Championship and all the hubbub surrounding fixing the water damage on the second and […]
I was all super porny like, “Uhn. Baby, I love it when you talk that way.”
She started screaming, “OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? THAT GUY COULD HAVE BEEN MY HUSBAND AND NOW HE THINKS I’M A CRAZY STALKER LADY!!”
You know how in movies the hero will have a really horrible day and collapse into bed but it will take a second for her to relax? That was totally me a minute ago. The day I’ve had. It started at 6am when I went to Irmingard’s room to wake her up for her flight. Irm was […]