Holiday Trifecta

I found these two memes on the internet. Together they reflect the highs and lows of motherhood, especially when you look at the context which is always, and forever, humor.

Cat Balls, Lint Balls and Heart Shaped Bums

I thought it would be really funny to name my dog Tardigrade and call him Tard for short and then when someone glared at me for being so insensitive and offensive I would be like, “It’s short for Tardigrade. What did you think it was short for?” and watch them twist.

Snow Day and Just In Time

After taking one fall and experiencing zero pain, I realized that the mountain was my bitch.

I’m All About Fat

I had a little panic attack last night so I started googling how to know when your dwarf African aquatic frog is dying.

Travel Twin Powers Activate! Part One: Iceland

I left Boulder Thursday night for a non-stop flight to Iceland and arrived at 6:30 the next morning. My flight got in an hour early so I had time to collect my bag and get coffee before Nina showed up. We immediately hit the road.

Mother of the Week

I read a parenting book that said when you are overwhelmed with your own kids, just invite a few more over and it will make it easier. I was all, bitch please.

Adventures in Interior Decorating

The beauty of social media is that I can leave out the toil and the days without showering or changing my clothes, and make myself look like an effortlessly creative powerhouse. The truth is that I’m miserably slogging through my list of to-do items. But it’s worth it.

Dirty Old Lady

I’ve been racking my brain for the female equivalent for dirty old man and all I can come up with is cougar. Well there’s a pleasant surprise. For once the female term is a shade less derogatory than the male term. You know, like the only male word for slut is stud, which has positive connotations. Yes, cougars […]

Saucy Chickens

Ever since my friend Dawn came up with the name Poulet Rouge for the chicken coop, I have been obsessed with commissioning a painting for them. Like this … but with chickens. What better way to spend money? There is a spot by my kitchen door that has been populated by a vintage poster of Betty […]

Kitchen Unicorn

Guest starring in someone’s kitchen is like being an Unicorn. I get to play with new tools and sample new dishes without having to deal with the marital disaster I leave in my wake. Not that I would know.