Thank God I’m Not Camping

I will spare you the gruesome details but let’s just say it was fucking gross. When I pulled out my phone BEFORE THE PROCEDURE my vet said, “You aren’t going to video this are you?!?”

Nothing Says Thanksgiving Like Neuticles

And to think that MPT was super stressed out that I would blog about a pretty amazing conversation we had about her butthole the other day. I’m classier than that. I try to only share my secret weird obsessions.

Sploot On Command

Chief is off to boarding school for a week. It might seem a little early for such a drastic measure but I’m going out of town this weekend and he’s not potty trained enough (i.e. at all) to leave him with a house sitter. I found I trainer I think I like who does board […]

Because Being a Dick is Fun

To keep my gym membership or not? That is the question. The truth is that I don’t need the gym, I like the gym. Yes, I don’t get distracted from my workouts when I’m at the gym. I like forcing awkward naked hugs on people I run into in the locker room (HI HELENE!) It […]

Why Leave The House?

It’s so fucking cute up in here. When I first got Chief – what was it? coming on three weeks ago – I was in the weeds. The sleep/potty/other animals situation was completely out of control. It was a bed of my own making so I tried to not complain too much … … except […]

Chief Is In The House!

Between Bates’s constant rumble of doom, Minx running around a knocking everything off the shelves and almost catching on fire, Scheissehund making up for lost time on my leg, and Chief whimpering in the kennel, I got almost no sleep.

Pole Theatre USA 2017 #togetherisbetter

Today I am going to get all the photos and videos up from this year’s Pole Theatre competition and surrounding reindeer games because once tomorrow comes, it’s gonna be a whole new scene. That’s right … Sideboob and I are driving out to Billings, WY to get Chief and I have a feeling that I […]