Just Kidding, Here’s One For The Road

I want to be 100% caught up before I proceed to spam my blog with smug posts about my fabulous European travel.

The Strangest Thing

When you dream of having children (if you dream of having children) you usually harbor a best case scenario, a fantasy, an aspiration of a perfect tableau of parenthood. If you are lucky you will experience it 1% of the time.

Sploot On Command

Chief is off to boarding school for a week. It might seem a little early for such a drastic measure but I’m going out of town this weekend and he’s not potty trained enough (i.e. at all) to leave him with a house sitter. I found I trainer I think I like who does board […]

Because Being a Dick is Fun

To keep my gym membership or not? That is the question. The truth is that I don’t need the gym, I like the gym. Yes, I don’t get distracted from my workouts when I’m at the gym. I like forcing awkward naked hugs on people I run into in the locker room (HI HELENE!) It […]

Chief Is In The House!

Between Bates’s constant rumble of doom, Minx running around a knocking everything off the shelves and almost catching on fire, Scheissehund making up for lost time on my leg, and Chief whimpering in the kennel, I got almost no sleep.

Pole Theatre USA 2017 #togetherisbetter

Today I am going to get all the photos and videos up from this year’s Pole Theatre competition and surrounding reindeer games because once tomorrow comes, it’s gonna be a whole new scene. That’s right … Sideboob and I are driving out to Billings, WY to get Chief and I have a feeling that I […]

Sheet Cake

By “talking me into it” I mean that she posted a picture of her campsite on Facebook with the caption that she was in a great place to see the eclipse and no, she’s not telling you where she is! 

Tempt Asian

I told her to abandon her feminist ideals about accurately portraying the female form and make me skinnier with bigger tits.