I managed a brief conversation with Ray from Philly who is an electrical engineer visiting a water treatment plant in Broomfield. That happened sometime between when I sent the angry text and the ladies showed up
Loony spiced up our morning by some forced togetherness amongst That Fucking Cat and Scheissehund. I never knew that cats could roll their eyes.
I hope one day he will become a writer. Not because I think being a writer makes you special or worthy, but because I really like what he has to say and the way he says it.
I thought it would be really funny to name my dog Tardigrade and call him Tard for short and then when someone glared at me for being so insensitive and offensive I would be like, “It’s short for Tardigrade. What did you think it was short for?” and watch them twist.
I present to you Le Coop Du Jour. Like soup du jour but with a coop. That’s French for coop of the day because they use it during the day. And coop rhymes with soup. Get it?
I woke up around midnight to MSNBC and I seriously could not tell if I was watching satire or actual news, it was simply that crazy.
If you were wondering if my two-week absence was due to alcohol poisoning or being in a 30-day rehab, you would be wrong.
I also thought that Radish’s passing would be a good opportunity to get an honest feel for how my neighbors actually felt about his incessant crowing.
After taking one fall and experiencing zero pain, I realized that the mountain was my bitch.
A Bat Mitzvah was the perfect thing for me to do on NYE and still be able to be in bed and/or drunk posting by 9:00.