Mediterranean Cruise

I told the boys to prepare themselves for luxury. There will be blankets, pillows, free drinks, movies, and lots of food that doesn’t come from my backpack. 

Not Dead Yet

Blue will live another day! As I told Helene, he could either drop dead today or live another three years, he’s mystifying that way. I really appreciated her and all my other friends checking up on how my stupid dog is.

Lipo Part 4: One Day After

I was ready for today to bring the pain. Yesterday I was all hepped up on anesthesia and locals, not to mention all the pain meds so I wasn’t making any grand statements about how my recovery was going. I woke up this morning expecting to be in a lot of pain but was pleasantly […]

Incident at Trader Joe’s

Someone would come to the door and he’d let it swing open slowly and say, “Sure is dark on that porch. Ain’t you afraid of getting jumped?” Then when the person stuttered a reply, “Speak up boy! What the hell is wrong with you? Ain’t you never seen a black man before?”

Cat Balls, Lint Balls and Heart Shaped Bums

I thought it would be really funny to name my dog Tardigrade and call him Tard for short and then when someone glared at me for being so insensitive and offensive I would be like, “It’s short for Tardigrade. What did you think it was short for?” and watch them twist.

Things That Make Me Feel Better

Recently I had coffee with a friend who is in a difficult place. After an hour or so she said she was tired and wanted to take a nap, at 10am. I told her that she should go for a hike, take a real shower and not the BS “mom shower” that lasts 90 seconds, put […]

Dog Drama aka Things That Can Be Fixed

Dog health update (because I know Mary is worried) … Blue seems to be doing better. I showed up at the vet’s door at 8am with a baggie of feces in hand. That turned out to be a good strategy because 1) I didn’t need an appointment and they analyzed it right then and there and […]

Rapid Resolution

Because I blog so often conversations with friends usually start with, “Tell me what isn’t in your blog.” (Boring warning, there are no boobies or Viv fails in this post) I’ve had this conversation so many times recently that I feel like it belongs in the blog, so here goes. Lately I’ve been a raging […]

Clearly the Prozac Hasn’t Kicked In

A friend came over and without going into details, I screamed at him to get the fuck out of my house at the top of my lungs … because he was irritating me.

Mental Health Check

I don’t want to be person who is on anti-depressants her whole life but when I go off of them I am overwhelmed with negative thinking. I see the connections between those thoughts and the lonely life my mother leads. I hear her voice in my head criticizing everyone around me, convincing me that I don’t belong, that I am different, that I am better off without them.