Tastes Like Squirrel


You know how in movies the hero will have a really horrible day and collapse into bed but it will take a second for her to relax? That was totally me a minute ago. The day I’ve had. It started at 6am when I went to Irmingard’s room to wake her up for her flight. Irm was […]

Incident at Trader Joe’s


Someone would come to the door and he’d let it swing open slowly and say, “Sure is dark on that porch. Ain’t you afraid of getting jumped?” Then when the person stuttered a reply, “Speak up boy! What the hell is wrong with you? Ain’t you never seen a black man before?”

Cat Balls, Lint Balls and Heart Shaped Bums


I thought it would be really funny to name my dog Tardigrade and call him Tard for short and then when someone glared at me for being so insensitive and offensive I would be like, “It’s short for Tardigrade. What did you think it was short for?” and watch them twist.