I dreamt about a little house across the alley. It was pink stucco and dilapidated and I had fantasies about buying and renovating it. In the meantime a man bought and was working on it. I was walking by and I introduced myself to him, I tried to make conversation about the house, angling for […]
So the other day I was hanging out on the couch with Chief and, as I like to do, I grabbed his paw and took a whiff. I happen to love the way his paws smell, like corn chips. I was feeling a little under the weather and thought that would cheer me up. Oddly […]
I dreamt I was on my way to a concert on foot. It was the winter and I was wearing a green coat I bought for college. The sidewalk was covered with snow and I had a lid or something to sled on. It was transcendently fun. I slid past people and then came upon […]
Always double check the recipient before you text your sexual issues to anyone who has any type of relationship with me because I will absolutely blog the shit out of it
This afternoon, whilst attempting to put dinner on the table, I was engaging in two of my favorite pastimes: text yelling at My Parasitic twin while also text yelling at her husband. It was some varsity level millennial shit. Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? First MPT and I were text […]
I will spare you the gruesome details but let’s just say it was fucking gross. When I pulled out my phone BEFORE THE PROCEDURE my vet said, “You aren’t going to video this are you?!?”
I feel like it is still best that I run my hobbies on a “better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission” basis and just fucking go for it while Loony is at work. Or out of town.
It is a fact that titties have less calories than deviled eggs.
Do I have an open marriage? The quick answer is sort of.
And to think that MPT was super stressed out that I would blog about a pretty amazing conversation we had about her butthole the other day. I’m classier than that. I try to only share my secret weird obsessions.