Let me just pause right here and say that there is some serious hillbilly shit on Youtube.
I lived with my secret until I found a good time to (have a huge fight) break the news to Loony. I did it over coffee this morning.
I mean, OF COURSE I have a half naked dog with a mysterious skin condition. It seems like being high maintenance and weird is a requiremnt of being close to me.
Before I show this to you, I just want to put the disclaimer out there that this is the most perfect vagina ever. I’m sure whoever’s it is never had kids.
I don’t like hugging. Well, it’s not that I don’t like it but I just don’t feel comfortable doing it … unless I am hugging a person that I know hates hugging more than I do then I hug them extra hard and long because then it turns into an act of aggression which is much more up my alley.
Last night Itchy and I were talking about something and I said FTW and he was like, do you know what that means? Of course I do! It means For The Win, duh and he was like, no mom, it means that other word that starts with F … the World. FUCK THE WORLD? Oh shit. […]
We burned through a big stack of money a bunch of drinks while talking about shit I cannot for the life of me remember but I do remember not feeling jealous of Sideboob in France, for once.
Also because it would be tight in there, he wouldn’t be able to move much. And if he started squirming I could Kegel him into submission.
… except Loony but who cares what he thinks. Yesterday my phone blew up with people texting me pictures and videos of this bad motherfucker. Yes, I went there with the penis reference. OF COURSE I WENT THERE! WHEN DO I NOT GO THERE? I’m not alone. and … I love how supportive my community […]
I had the most remarkable conversation with Scratchy. I’ve never seen a kid as brave as him. He told me all the things he was scared of, all the fears, anxieties and worries that CENTER AROUND FEAR OF DISPLEASING ME. Oh god.