Before I show this to you, I just want to put the disclaimer out there that this is the most perfect vagina ever. I’m sure whoever’s it is never had kids.
I don’t like hugging. Well, it’s not that I don’t like it but I just don’t feel comfortable doing it … unless I am hugging a person that I know hates hugging more than I do then I hug them extra hard and long because then it turns into an act of aggression which is much more up my alley.
Last night Itchy and I were talking about something and I said FTW and he was like, do you know what that means? Of course I do! It means For The Win, duh and he was like, no mom, it means that other word that starts with F … the World. FUCK THE WORLD? Oh shit. […]
We burned through a big stack of money a bunch of drinks while talking about shit I cannot for the life of me remember but I do remember not feeling jealous of Sideboob in France, for once.
Also because it would be tight in there, he wouldn’t be able to move much. And if he started squirming I could Kegel him into submission.
… except Loony but who cares what he thinks. Yesterday my phone blew up with people texting me pictures and videos of this bad motherfucker. Yes, I went there with the penis reference. OF COURSE I WENT THERE! WHEN DO I NOT GO THERE? I’m not alone. and … I love how supportive my community […]
I had the most remarkable conversation with Scratchy. I’ve never seen a kid as brave as him. He told me all the things he was scared of, all the fears, anxieties and worries that CENTER AROUND FEAR OF DISPLEASING ME. Oh god.
I had a little panic attack last night so I started googling how to know when your dwarf African aquatic frog is dying.
I realize that aside Asian characters are the most cliché thing for a non-Asian to get tattooed with (I am part Asian, but I’m not considering Vietnamese words because Haruki Murakami isn’t Vietnamese and Haruki Murakami written in English takes up too much space) birds are the next most cliché thing.
I was pretty stoked about this because I just got on a friend’s private message line where they post icky unsolicited dick-pics (as if there is such a thing as a solicited dick-pic) for us to laugh at and I was feeling pretty lame that I didn’t have any of my own to share because I’m old.