It is a fact that titties have less calories than deviled eggs.
Do I have an open marriage? The quick answer is sort of.
And to think that MPT was super stressed out that I would blog about a pretty amazing conversation we had about her butthole the other day. I’m classier than that. I try to only share my secret weird obsessions.
We talked. First about her, then about me. I talked to her about what it’s like to care for someone with advancing dementia.
Let me just pause right here and say that there is some serious hillbilly shit on Youtube.
I lived with my secret until I found a good time to (have a huge fight) break the news to Loony. I did it over coffee this morning.
I mean, OF COURSE I have a half naked dog with a mysterious skin condition. It seems like being high maintenance and weird is a requiremnt of being close to me.
Before I show this to you, I just want to put the disclaimer out there that this is the most perfect vagina ever. I’m sure whoever’s it is never had kids.
I don’t like hugging. Well, it’s not that I don’t like it but I just don’t feel comfortable doing it … unless I am hugging a person that I know hates hugging more than I do then I hug them extra hard and long because then it turns into an act of aggression which is much more up my alley.
Last night Itchy and I were talking about something and I said FTW and he was like, do you know what that means? Of course I do! It means For The Win, duh and he was like, no mom, it means that other word that starts with F … the World. FUCK THE WORLD? Oh shit. […]