We talked. First about her, then about me. I talked to her about what it’s like to care for someone with advancing dementia.
Let me just pause right here and say that there is some serious hillbilly shit on Youtube.
I lived with my secret until I found a good time to (have a huge fight) break the news to Loony. I did it over coffee this morning.
I mean, OF COURSE I have a half naked dog with a mysterious skin condition. It seems like being high maintenance and weird is a requiremnt of being close to me.
Before I show this to you, I just want to put the disclaimer out there that this is the most perfect vagina ever. I’m sure whoever’s it is never had kids.
I don’t like hugging. Well, it’s not that I don’t like it but I just don’t feel comfortable doing it … unless I am hugging a person that I know hates hugging more than I do then I hug them extra hard and long because then it turns into an act of aggression which is much more up my alley.
Last night Itchy and I were talking about something and I said FTW and he was like, do you know what that means? Of course I do! It means For The Win, duh and he was like, no mom, it means that other word that starts with F … the World. FUCK THE WORLD? Oh shit. […]
We burned through a big stack of money a bunch of drinks while talking about shit I cannot for the life of me remember but I do remember not feeling jealous of Sideboob in France, for once.
Also because it would be tight in there, he wouldn’t be able to move much. And if he started squirming I could Kegel him into submission.
… except Loony but who cares what he thinks. Yesterday my phone blew up with people texting me pictures and videos of this bad motherfucker. Yes, I went there with the penis reference. OF COURSE I WENT THERE! WHEN DO I NOT GO THERE? I’m not alone. and … I love how supportive my community […]