Thank God I’m Not Camping

I will spare you the gruesome details but let’s just say it was fucking gross. When I pulled out my phone BEFORE THE PROCEDURE my vet said, “You aren’t going to video this are you?!?”

The Difference A Day Makes

Yesterday I was riding high. I was beyond excited about my post-op appointment and how good I looked and felt given that it had been less than a week after I got lipo.

Blood Sucking Vampires and Cannibal Chickens

We have some problems with the other flock pecking at each other so now when the Silkies go to the Coop du Jour to range during the day, Annabel the Cannibal goes to solitary confinement at the Poulet Rouge until her Pinless Peepers arrive.

Mother of the Year

If I don’t want stuff for Mothers’ Day, what do I want?
I want to be acknowledged for the things I do as mother, and for that one day don’t want to do any of those things. I want a quiet day to reflect on my journey.

I Might Have A Concussion

I’m just as likely to be feeling ill due to stress, over exertion, poor sleep and being old. But frankly, having Zika just sounds more exotic than being old and I can leverage something out of Loony if I pin it on him.

I Slay Garages, Crawlspaces and Basements

Rachel astutely pointed out that if this was going to cause a huge fucking fight, I might as well make it count. I decided to go for the trifecta of purging: the basement and crawlspace, laundry room, and garage.