Not Suitable for Public Consumption


I was all super porny like, “Uhn. Baby, I love it when you talk that way.”

Mo money mo problems (but with puke and shit)


The most traumatizing part of the appointment was taking the before pictures. Seriously, I think they may be more disturbing than the barfed up bunny but in the interest of full disclosure, here goes …

Not A Hugger


I don’t like hugging. Well, it’s not that I don’t like it but I just don’t feel comfortable doing it … unless I am hugging a person that I know hates hugging more than I do then I hug them extra hard and long because then it turns into an act of aggression which is much more up my alley.

Tactical Pooper


I hope one day he will become a writer. Not because I think being a writer makes you special or worthy, but because I really like what he has to say and the way he says it.