I was like, “HA! BOOBS!” and my kid was like, “Huh? What? Where?” and I pointed out the sticker and he was like, “That’s a face,” and I was like, “Yep, definitely not hitting puberty yet.”
Just when I was feeling like an inferior parent because she was actually paying attention to the crap they were talking about, she offered $1 to anyone willing to eat a jalapeño.
You should totally give him that chicken. They can live in his trailer in Longmont together.
FYI, this is going to be a long and boring post with no pictures of boobs. Sorry.
I’ve been doing it for so long that I don’t think much of it other than it is part of my morning and nightly ritual, like brushing my teeth.
Most parents (or child-care involved people) will know about the potty talk phase. It’s when kids are obsessed with bodily functions. It usually subsides after about a year of telling them to knock it off but it has only gotten worse. Not my kids. Me. For a while I appeared to be obsessed with writing […]
The great irony is that of all the people to send that gaff, no one is more likely to write something like that on purpose.
Ranee (who doesn’t have a pseudonym yet) had twins – with a toddler already knocking around – and after a over a year in the k-hole, she re-emerged into my life … and with a mission. Dude, I used commas, parenthesis, and ellipses in one sentence. That has to be some kind of crime against […]
I like the names Oliver and Chief but I had cats with those names so that’s not cool. I love Smooch but I dated a guy who had a dog named Smoot, is that okay? It might have to be. I like Beasley but the short version is Bee and my neighbor has a dog named Bee. Rhubarb is cute but Barbie is a girl’s name. WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!
Do I miss my kids?