I have been camping more this year than any I can remember, not because I love it so much but because it seems to be the only thing to do these days. And because Casey is so into it right now.
I wouldn’t need a job if I had a dollar for every time I’ve listened to him extoll the virtues of lightweight camping gear. He told me a while back that he wanted to take me backpacking this summer as seeing as how it’s almost over, we decided to do a quick overnight at my favorite place above Jamestown.
We only had to backpack about a quarter of a mile to get to our site, but that was far enough for me. I’m tired.
Casey took care of everything except dinner, which was a Snarf’s sandwich for him and a salad and leftover chips and salsa the BF and I got from the Farmer’s Market.
While he set up his new ultralight tent and filtered water, I flashed to bringing him home from the hospital. I was so overwhelmed with the enormity of what I had just done, and felt almost crushed by the knowledge that I would never (at least it seemed) be able to leave my house without packing a diaper bag (before I got smart about how easy it was to leave the house when you are breastfeeding, no gear needed!) which was on the same level as packing to leave the country, or arranging for babysitting. Now he was taking care of me. It was mind bending.
There’s a sweet little swimming hole at the trailhead, we spent an hour hanging out.
We brought Bartleby along on the trip because he always wants to come with. He’s a real pain-in-the-ass, though.
He will run away immediately and you can count on him to pee on your pack, sleeping bag, or tent. But you can also count on him to be super amusing.
As it so happened we ate our dinner and realized that the sleeping pad I was going to use had a leak. Since it was only 45 minutes to Boulder and we had nothing else to do, we drove back to town, grabbed another pad for me and stopped for ice cream. We also dropped Bart off at the house because we were both sick of his shit.
Chief is a great camper; he never runs away and he sticks close to camp, just like a good dog should. I wasn’t very cold so I slept with the bag opened up on top of me and covering Chief up. I loved falling asleep next to Casey. We talked in the dark about everything. I feel so fortunate that he trusts me enough to share with me, and to be so candid. I never want to betray that trust.
I had a night full of anxiety dreams. In one I was chasing after Chief and a friend’s dog. He didn’t have a collar, the other dog wore one but it came off every time I grabbed it. They kept running into the street, just barely avoiding getting hit by cars. It was intensely stressful.
In another one I had agreed to cater an event for 300 people and I only charged $300. One of the organizers was critical of my cooking (salmon, scalloped potatoes, and sugar peas) and said they should have hired a school cafeteria. I was furious in the dream, having only charged one dollar a head.
Then I dreamt I had to get back to Chief. He had been locked in an office building for eight hours and try as I might, I could barely walk. Just walking normally felt like climbing the last part of a 14er. I even tried getting on my hands and knees to go faster but it was like I was walking against a swiftly moving current. I wish I had been able to realize I was dreaming and taken off flying.
We got back the next morning and I had this little fella here to greet me.
Boulder is hot and dry, Colorado has several fires blazing, but at least it is sunflower season.
I still don’t know how to deal with my boys’ desire to have me all to themselves. I get why they enjoy one-on-one time, but it is hard to balance time. I took Micah out for sushi for lunch, having not had any myself in several months.
We sat on the newly transformed Pearl Street Mall and ate in the open air. It’s not a bad set-up, too bad it will only last a couple months more at best.
I spent the night in FOCO, the BF’s father and step-mother were in town for the night and he wanted me to join them. He cooked a lovely meal for all of us and we tucked them in early because they were exhausted from the 12-hour drive from Arkansas. He and I stayed up, took a drive in his new truck, and then sat in the hot tub for a couple of hours.
I take great comfort and solace in my time with him. We’ve set up house in a way, discussing meals and grocery shopping … car buying … and have settled into a way of life where we include each other in our decisions.