Pandemic Dream

I dreamt I was on my way to a concert on foot. It was the winter and I was wearing a green coat I bought for college. The sidewalk was covered with snow and I had a lid or something to sled on. It was transcendently fun.

I slid past people and then came upon an extremely large fox, just to the side of me. I slowed to a stop then realized it wasn’t safe, but there were small children close behind and I saw them slow and approach the massive fox. His fur was so red, his head enormous. His face read anxiety.

I tried to get between them and the fox when the owner intervened. He was an old man. He spoke soothingly to him and I could see the fox relax. He rolled over onto his back and the man said I was being invited to touch him. I did so very carefully, watching his expression, wary of any signs of agitation. My hands caressed the thick fur on his belly, it was pitch black.

Then I continued to the venue. I ran down a snowy street. There were men having a snowball fight. I snuck up behind one and my presence kept his rival from aiming for him. He was unaware that I was protecting him, then I continued running, now with bare feet.

The venue was dark and large, and not the main event. I can’t remember the music, only that it was over soon and I wanted to use the bathroom before I left. It was full of people, both men and women with a mixture of urinals and toilets out in the open, no stalls.

The men kept pushing in front of me to use the urinals and the stalls. The floor was filthy under my bare feet. Finally I pushed to a urinal and lifted my skirt to attempt to pee standing up. I felt a man’s hand under skirt, touching my crotch.

I turned on him furiously. I couldn’t believe he would touch me, and in front of so many people in the bright light. I wanted to hurt him. I tried to hit him but was largely ineffective, it frustrated me that I was unable to land a blow on him. He slipped away.

I lifted the front of my skirt again then another man did the same thing! Again I tried to punch him but couldn’t. Eventually I managed to pee and by the time I left the bathroom another band set up, it was my favorite. Massive Attack.

I was torn, I wanted to stay, I’d never seen them in concert but I was meeting BF and others at another venue. The people I was with had already left. The music was starting and it was beautiful. There must have been a hundred musicians lined up on the floor, playing their hearts out.

I looked for my coat but the wall I put it against was crammed with people and there were no landmarks. I gave up looking and decided to leave my things. It was so dark, I couldn’t see people but I could feel them as I brushed by. I worried I was stepping on them but I felt like I was running on air and my feet just brushing the tops of their heads.

Outside it was a snowy cityscape. I ran, my feet suddenly in shoes. I realized my tickets were in the coat I left behind, but it was miraculously on me and I felt the ticket in the pocket. I felt the soft down coat, in the worn Army green fabric, just like it was when I had it my freshman year.

I crossed a large intersection. There was a limo waiting with a bunch of others for hire. One’s license plate read VIVISSIMO. I saw a woman at the crosswalk jump out of her fluffy skirt into the street, she was wearing Spanx underneath and her legs were bare. She was so thin, I wondered why she didn’t wear something pretty when she clearly didn’t need a girdle.

Then I was in a car with friends, headed to the show. There were strangers in the front so maybe it was a ride share. I stopped to get money from an ATM and noticed someone left their card in it. I brought it to the car and realized it was the person in the front seat.

The card had his photo on it which made it easy to identify. He was a foreigner. He was drinking from a water bottle and I absentmindedly picked it up and took a swig before realizing what I had done. Did I need to remove myself from people immediately?

I got to the venue and I was anxious about going in. I remembered that I had had sex with one of the women’s husband. She had always been kind to me and I felt like an asshole. He said it was okay, they had an arrangement but I felt really bad about it, I didn’t know why I had slept with him, I didn’t find him remotely attractive and now I was the person that shouldn’t be there.

I woke up before I made into concert.

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