Love in the Time of Corona: Week 14


Week 14 and things are opening up again, just to see numbers spike and some states slam everything shut. Didn’t see that coming.

You hear about people hitting bars and clubs (why are clubs open?!) and then coming down with COVID. What a shocker. But there is good news!

Hallelujah!

BF and I are going out a little. And I mean a little. We feel pretty safe dining on the patio of a restaurant with just one other table far away. We aren’t doing it much but it is nice to get out a bit. We want to support the struggling business owners out there that are losing everything.

Morning on the front porch

I’ve been looking for places to take the kids tubing. I’ve never done it myself (except recently with BF) but the kids have been clamoring for it so I bought tubes. Money well spent.

The Boulder Creek is monopolized by the homeless and is littered with human feces, trash and needles. It sucks. I’m not sure what to do about it other than addressing the underlying issues surrounding homelessness and how to support people in crisis. I don’t feel comfortable on the creek, especially since it is lousy with college students who may be more of a threat at this point.

Awesome

I took the boys to nearby Lyons at LaVern Johnson Park, an absolutely glorious park that puts Boulder to shame. The town was devastated by the 2013 floods and they rebuilt this park in the aftermath. I had no idea such an eden for children existed.

Of course it was shut down shortly after we went there, any place nice is getting overly trafficked and closed off. I get it but what a bummer.

Yes there were a lot of families but we didn’t get close to anyone. I took Lucas along (a friend from Scouts) to dilute the sibling rivalry.

When I’m tubing with the kids I’m the support staff. I pack the lunches, schlep towels and sunscreen and hold our spot. Thankfully I have my time with BF to play a little myself. He takes on the role of organizer and all I have to do is put on my suit. It’s kind of like traveling with Sideboob … in other words, awesome.

We stopped mid-tube to avail ourselves of the rope swing. My attempt was too ugly to post.

Afterwards we went to an outdoor food court to have a beer and fries. Chief came with us.

I gave Chief a CBD treat to chill him out while we were out of the house. It worked. Really well. Too well?

Another major development is that Itchy is starting to drive. He completed his 30 hour coursework and now I’m teaching him the basics before he does six hours behind the wheel with an instructor. It’s all about the parking lot.

Cruising the empty lot next to the softball field

I’m enjoying the car time with him. It’s slow going, he’s getting used to the pedals, the turn signal, figuring out how to turn smoothly, accelerate, brake, etc. I try to remember learning how to drive myself, I have little memory of it. There was the 6am class before school, a few outings with the teacher and three other students … it didn’t feel comprehensive but I did it. I learned how to drive a stick at the same time. It’s a miracle I survived.

Scratchy has a dog walking gig that is kind of ruining our summer, he can’t do anything early or overnight during the week. It runs through the end of June so he will soon be freed up to do things but for now he can’t go anywhere so I took Itchy with me to Grand Junction to see Marcia, my 89 year-old BFF.

Scratchy’s charge, Sweet Lilabet posing by my blooming rose bush

Asking me to get in a car is a big deal given that between driving to Arkansas and the path I wear between Boulder and Fort Collins, I put in 30 hours in one week. But I really needed to see her.

Itchy said he’d come with me and I thoroughly enjoyed his company. We talked the entire drive (four hours each way) and even delved into boring things like investing and saving, which he was curious about. He’s a cool kid, I’m happy our relationship has gone in this direction.

He was great with Marcia, they played Othello on the patio while I chatted with Lauren.

We stayed at Lauren’s friend’s house. Ron is an old bachelor with a deluxe pad. He has a very comfortable RV in the back with AC and two queen sized beds. We slept deeply.

It was a 24 hour trip but just right nonetheless. I’m happy that Itchy is getting to know Marcia, she’s an extremely important person in my life, I would not be the person I am without her.

I haven’t seen Tabby in ages. She got into another horse accident and broke one wrist and sprained the other. She also got a concussion. I missed my exit on the way home from Fort Collins and ended up passing by her ranch so I stopped in.

What a mess!

It’s nice being at the big house for a lot of reasons and having access to the cats is one of them. I missed them even though I’m pretty sure they don’t give a fuck about me. Whatever.

Minx won’t give me the time of day but Lonny was so kind as to bring her and the box she’s been sitting in all day into my room as I’m writing this. It’s as close to intimacy with Minx but I’ll take it.

Notice Scheissehund jammed in my crotch.

Once again the internet never fails to serve up content that sums up many of my feelings about the BLM movement (hint, I’m all for it) and the dumbasses spreading Corona.

I fall into funks on the regular, I think lots of people do. I wouldn’t say it’s a mental health crisis but there are times when I need to turn the noise down, or turn up other noise to drown it out. This little loop of a beautiful man dancing to gorgeous music pulled me out of a dark place.

The killing of Elijah McClain hit me hard. I actually sat down and cried when I heard what happened.

This lovely young man (Google him to get details if you don’t know about him) was murdered for doing nothing wrong, just walking home one night. He wore a ski mask to keep warm, he was anemic and got cold easily. He was murdered for being black.

His last words as he begged for mercy broke my heart.

I recognize his words as he fawns, pleads, and apologizes for his existence. He is trying to save himself from an all powerful oppressor, hoping for mercy. I know that “strategy” all too well. It is my own.

No amount of justice will bring this poor soul back. I think of his parents, his mother, and the agony she must feel. I’m glad his case is getting noticed; Colorado has already enacted policing reforms as a result, but his life was cut short and for no reason … and the cops almost got away with it. But were it not for the power of social media, he would have died in obscurity. This must change. Black lives matter.

I exist in my bubble of comfort and privilege but I am keeping my eyes and mind open. I sometimes avert my gaze because it is overwhelming but I return to it. I am present and heartened to see things starting to shift. Go hard for Elijah, Breonna, George, and the countless unnamed victims of America’s most bitter and cruel legacy.

I love our gay governor

Speaking of bubbles, here are some pictures from it.

I love walking under this flowering tree, it smells of honey and buzzes with bees.

I was searching my junk folder for something when I came across this email from Carmen, a woman who was in the same dance company with me back in college. I wish I had videos of us dancing in the Haitian Suite, or Glimpses of Africa. We danced together for seven years, a lifetime ago.

I can’t believe I almost missed seeing this. It is such a generous and affirming message and it came at a perfect time. I reached out and we made a date to talk. We spent an hour catching up on the phone, her life has turned out tremendously, I am so happy for her.

I have few friends from that era of my life, my college days were strange. But we danced hard, had all the struggles that a company of that size has, and eventually moved on. She went to Columbia and now teaches at a prestigious boarding school, her life seems like magic. It means a lot to me to connect with people from my past, she and I intend to continue our conversation.

This week my tenant moves out and the next moves in. I’ll go to my house, collect a few more things, raid the freezer and say goodbye again for another three months. I turn to BF for emotional support when I’m overwhelmed by emotion. He is amazingly deft and understanding the push and pull of my life. He is my oasis. Someone said that he was like drug to me – and not in a good way – that I just needed more and more.

Maybe she is right, maybe he is my drug, but I like to think of him like Oxytocin, a hormone secreted by the pituitary gland. It’s sometimes known as the “cuddle hormone” or the “love hormone,” because it is released when people snuggle up or bond socially.

Our evening ritual after we finish dinner and clean up the dishes together, watch a movie or some comedy and then retire to the hot tub to talk and soak or an hour, is at the center of our connection. I don’t think I’ve ever talked so much to a partner, learned so much, and felt so seen. I am truly happy with him. He makes me feel safe and I sleep like a baby next to him.

So yes, he may be my escape, but who wouldn’t want to have such a lovely place to go?

5 thoughts on “Love in the Time of Corona: Week 14

  1. WHAT??? Investing and savings is boring – say it ain’t so as you break my heart. Have you introduced the rule of 72? So exciting. Okay – maybe this is just me as my kids BEG me to stop talking all things money… 🙂

  2. I was going to go to bed and noticed I forgot to read your blog, which I always enjoy. I love looking at your pictures and mostly pictures of you with or w/o your sweetie. You look so good together. There seems to be a calmness about you. You look so happy and content. I wouldn’t use the word “drug” in reference to your sweetie. It seems more like coming home and feeling safe. If Basil has a troubling dream, he’ll reach over and spoon me, then go immediately back to sleep. It’s nice to feel safe with the one you love.

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