I’ve noticed that I have one speed … fast. I go and go and go and then I crash.
It has been pretty nonstop since I got back from Morocco, settling back into work and regular life. I like working hard, and not in some asinine work hard play hard BS, I simply enjoy the flow of a solid day’s work.
But I don’t think I want to do anything hard anymore.
I want to be soft, I want to flow, and yes, sometimes flow state is intense and that’s okay.
It’s something I aspire to because I am definitely not there yet. I don’t say no nearly enough, I don’t listen to my body enough, I don’t take time for my own pleasure and quiet time. My body tanks and I have no choice but to take a day to rest.
I’m not a great day sleeper, nor am I particularly sleep deprived – I prioritize sleep – but I am really bad at not moving. And right now I have a really bad plantar fasciitis flare that is knocking me down. So much that I can’t go for my daily walks with Chief until I can get it to settle down, it’s a huge sacrifice.
Walking with Chief and a friend is one the of the things that keeps me sane. My activity monitor says I’m walking about 7 miles a day, a far cry from resting my foot. Ironically I am not using it to make me move more, but to help me move less.
I had my annual check-up yesterday and brought up my foot pain. My doctor recommend physical therapy and a CAM boot to immobilize my foot to get the inflammation to settle down.
Junebug came over last night for some convo and dog-on-dog aggression and arranged for me to borrow her mom’s boot – that’s $140 I won’t be spending – WOOT!
Junebug asked me how I was since she’s been out of town a while. I’m happy with work, things at home are good, I’m stoked for spring, but what’s on my mind is slowing down my life, not pushing so hard all the time.
I would also like for it not to feel so busy. I want a gentle flow to my life, one that has room for slow pleasures. I’m tired of busting my ass.
I want to do more things like spend time with friends, explore my creativity and read actual books.
Years ago when I first started blogging I struck up an on-line friendship with the author of the blog Cowboys and Crossbones. She and I followed each other when I was writing all the time and we’ve both bore witness to some serious shit the other has gone through.
She reached out to tell me she’s was going to be in Denver. Naturally I had to leave the Boulder Bubble to spend an afternoon with her.
Even though we feel like we know everything about each other, some things aren’t shared over the internet even though she and I are notorious over sharers. It felt wonderful to put our arms around each other IRL.
I want more of that.
And speaking of true friends, check out what Màrion is up to.
She told me she was working on something new but she didn’t want to unveil it to the world until she was good and ready. She’s a consummate artist and performer so I expected no less.
This little girl showed up on my porch with her mother.
They live in Longmont and park near my house so they can visit the Silkies before going to an African song and dance class at the church down the street. It turns out she’s the one who has been leaving the bird pictures for me.
Later on she left an entire calendar of art and her beautiful poetry. It reminded me of when I was creative like that, when I took Itchy to the very same African singing class, and when things felt slower.
I was exhausted and harried with small children of course, but it was before I had an iPhone, before I blogged, before I had a second job, Facebook, Instagram, before I thought farther out than the next meal or nap. It felt simpler.
Things are a slower at work this week because my boss is out of town. I’m still conducting traffic, managing her calendar and working on projects, but it’s less when she’s away. Today was a good day to strap on the boot for the first time and put my feet up.
My Parasitic Twin insisted I watch What We Do In the Shadows and I know that when she gets all weirdly intense about a show, I should probably watch it.
I usually only watch stuff while working on a clay project. Given I haven’t done that for almost a year, it’s been a while since I’ve see anything. MPT was right, the show is brilliant.
Another thing I want to do is brew my own kombucha. Not so much because I believe it is a magical elixir full of probiotics – I feel pretty healthy – but because I’ve cut way back on booze.
Ever since coming back from my trip to Morocco, I haven’t wanted to drink.
But I still want a special drink at night, something that signals the end of the day, time to unwind. Since everyone else seems to be doing it, I thought why not?
Plus, it’s pretty cool to be able to make my own brews. I follow this really cool lady on Instagram that has a fabulous garden and epitomizes slow living. She started a blog and posted a very in-depth tutorial on how to brew your own kombucha. It’s quite fun and I was surprised at how much I liked unflavored kombucha.
I’ve been slowly transitioning my family to a more plant based diet. My strategy is to replace animal products with plant based foods that pass my taste test, like this …
And this …
The more I pay attention, the harder it is for me to love and want to protect this creature …
… while denying their sentience and right to live without institutionalized cruelty and torture.
Yes, I know all the arguments for ethically sourced meat and yes, I still eat meat from time to time, but I sure do like not eating meat. Especially when the alternatives are delicious.
Redacted is into the Indieweb movement. In a nutshell …
I was happy to know that I have been doing the Indieweb thing by having my own blog. But I post a lot to Instagram and I know that one day I will move on from it – as is the way of social media platforms – and I will leave behind the content I created. The very content that traps me there because I fear losing it.
I remember when a friend told me that I was wasting my talent on Facebook. I started my blog and ditched the platform. The same goes for Instagram. I’ll try to post here and break away from social media platforms built to direct my attention where it serves the powers that be, and monetize my creativity.