Have you seen the Tina Fey sheet cake Saturday Night Live skit?
Here it is, enjoy.
After a long drive back from Wyoming where we saw the Total Eclipse of the
Heart Sun last night, I got my off my ass and started taking care of my to-do list:
- Clean out the car
- Do laundry
- Return a bunch of shit to the hardware store
- Go to the grocery store
It’s been a great summer of camping and road trips and schlepping chickens and kids and shit that destroys my car. Even though I was firmly in the “let’s catch the eclipse on livestream” camp, Pamcakes talked me into joining her in Torrington, Wyoming for the eclipse.
By “talking me into it” I mean that she posted a picture of her campsite on Facebook with the caption that she was in a great place to see the totality and no, she’s not telling you where she is!
Loony, who is still on FB, showed it to me and I texted her immediately.
Note the time and date.
She sent me this back …
Faster than you can say FOMO we were in the car and hightailing it to Wyoming.
She sent us a pin so we were able to find the campsite on BLM land in the dark. We left at 7:00 pulled up around 11:00 and instead of …
- searching for her car with our brights on or
- turning off the headlights and running over tents
… we parked when we saw some cars and tried to quietly set up. This entailed setting up two cots, two Thermarests in the car, and stepping in some cow shit while wearing flip flops, but Mr. Camping Purist got out of his tent nearby and brought his dog over and demanded, “What the fuck are you doing? Find somewhere else to camp …
on public land.”
It was completely uncalled for.
“We are meeting friends, sorry to disturb you.” I said by way of apologizing for my existence.
He stalked back to his tent.
The next morning I saw that he had a CU Boulder stadium chair so apparently his camping privilege only extends to Boulderites bearing his name, which should be Dick Head, because I found out later that he ALSO came in after dark and WAS ALSO meeting friends, and was SHOOTING OFF GUNS the next day.
Once the sun came up I found Pamcakes and her crew of Betties.
I haven’t seen those ladies in forever, I forgot how fun it is to be around them.
Someone brought an airgun so my boys had a good old time shooting off guns as well. Normally I’d feel bad about it but given the present company we were in and where we were, what the hell.
It’s spooky how quickly the boys took to it. I told them in no uncertain terms that they would never ever get a gun, especially since the BBs kept ricocheting off the trees and threatening to shoot someone’s eye out.
We walked to a hill at 10:30 and waited.
I don’t think that I could comprehend what I would have missed without actually seeing it. It wasn’t so much the act of the sun being obscured by the moon that impressed me, it was the way we felt an entire day in an hour, the way the light changed, the wind picked up, the temperature dropped, the crickets started singing, the hush.
It was incredible.
Here are some really lame videos …
The only thing I missed seeing were the eclipse shadows filtered through trees (as there were none on the dunes) but thanks to Instagram I got to see plenty.
I was so glad we made it and I won’t lie, I hoped we would dodge a bullet as far as the whole carmegeddon prediction was concerned.
We had our car packed so we could hightail it out of there the second the totality was over … like a million other people.
So anyway, the drive that took a little under four hours to get there took nine hours of hot, 5mph, bickering kids and Loony annoying me, to get home and I was pretty tired of people by the time we got back.
Thank god today was a school day.
I got the kids out of the house and I thought what better way to close out the summer than to clean out my car which was now coated with chicken shit, cow manure, and road grime. Except I was so limp that all I could do was sit on the stairs with my coffee and stare at L’il Minx.
She is still kinda snorty from a head cold which makes me love her more.
Ack. Why are cats so cuuuuute?
I eventually got my ass in gear and gave my car the deep cleaning and felt like a winner again. Trump should clean his car when he feels like winning rather than threatening nuclear war. Anyway, it was so gross in there but I felt like cleaning my car while we were still in the summer season was a fool’s errand. People keep trying to extend summer on me but I am 100% done.
I have too much to do to be on vacation all the time and camping is like triple duty for me. Seriously, it’s all, “Mom, where is this?” and “Mom, where is that?” I snapped at my kids and Loony several times recently because I feel like instead of figuring out where they left their shoes, or what is in the refrigerator (hint, look for yourself) they ask me.
A friend of mine was discussing sister wives and how useful that would be and I was like naw, I need some brother-husbands. I’d be all to my three bruh-hus, “You, go do this. You, go do that. And I’ll see you upstairs.”
So I did the loads of laundry and unpacked the car and went to the grocery (here’s where I circle back to the beginning of my post) and I wandered past the bakery and I saw this lovely little sheet cake and I thought about Tina Fey and I bought it.
Which was a good thing because when I got home a friend called to see if I was free for a last second cake thing for his wife’s birthday. AND HE DIDN’T HAVE CAKE YET!
Seeing as how I probably shouldn’t eat the whole thing I felt like I was delivered from the jaws of ill advised stress eating.
In other news, the cats are kinda getting along with Minx. By getting along I mean no one has been injured, just lots of hissing and stalking off. But GOOD NEWS! That Fucking Cat is finally being nice to me (did I already write about this?)
She sat in my lap twice, on her own steam, and submitted to being pet. Then she slept between my legs with Scheissehund. I guess she’s figuring out which side her bread is buttered on.
I moved the cat food off the counter so now the cats eat in the sunroom. There were too many cats running around my kitchen and adding another one was going to make me nuts.
And FINALLY I got another picture of Chief.
15 days until he is mine, all mine!