Just My Luck

I work with the public so I know how annoying it is when you go out of your way to provide people with all the information they could ever want but they STILL call with questions because they don’t bother to read.

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I’m sure Sideboob knows how this feels because I never Google tech questions. Why would I do that when she will do it for me? Heheh.

So I get why she puts this on her website …

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and this …

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and this …

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She’s taking pictures as fast as she can and would really appreciate not being pestered about it … but it’s sooooo haaaard waiting for the next picture!

Every morning I wake up and refresh the puppy picture page and today I was rewarded.


L’il Chief (or Covfefe – Kofifi – as Loony has been calling him lately just to annoy me) is the big one on the right

Ugh, his face, sooo cuuuuute. I cannot wait to kiss him on the mouth over and over all night long.

I’m a little worried about how, um, big he is. I mean, I’m (actually we because Sideboob won’t let me go alone) driving to Montana to get a miniature Golden and it would be just my luck that he ends up weighing a hundred pounds.


What do you want to bet this will be him?

The question now is Kofifi normal size for a puppy that is going to mature to be 25-35 pounds and his sisters are just freakishly small? Or is he unusually large?

I messaged Shannon.

Thank you for uploading the pictures of Stormy’s pups, we love watching the babies grow. I see that the male is substantially larger than the females and I was wondering if he is “normal” pup size for a toy and his siblings are just really small, or if it is likely that his larger size means he might top out at larger than 35 pounds. Getting the smallest dog possible isn’t necessarily the goal, but I don’t want to get a full sized retriever either. I don’t know much about the vagaries of genes and would appreciate your guidance.

She responded:

Well it is hard to tell with Stormy because she has mature offspring that are 15-18 lbs and others that are 35 lbs. Although I can’t guarantee this…..my guess is that the teeny female will mature at about 15-18 lbs and that the male will be between 25-37 lbs. Plus….there are only 3 pups so if the male is a little piggy….he will have all the milk he wants and grow fast during the nursing stage.

“Little piggy.” I die.

I don’t want a teeny-tiny dog, I already have one of those and the point of this dog is to do dog stuff – like walk more than a block without demanding to be put in a baby carrier –so I decided to stay with the chunky male. Fingers crossed he will grow to be the perfect 35 pound dog and not a 200 pound freak of nature.


Wearing matching outfits that pushed my limits of crazy-looking.

Although knowing me and my luck, where would you put your money?

*Estrogen poisoning update! After being diligent about keeping Scheissehund away from my estrogen cream, it looks like he’s starting to grow some chest hair. Regard …


Also (and this is going to get weird) among the other signs of estrogen poisoning, he has been noticeably less amorous with me; i.e. he stopped humping me all the time. He was a little love machine going at it with my ankles and wrists at any opportunity. I found the cessation of this behavior to be a plus. However, now that he is getting his groove back, he’s back to humping me with zeal.


He also humped the shit out of Bina today, too.




One thought on “Just My Luck

  1. The puppies are soooo cute. Having grown up with a dog that had many litters…there tends to be one that is a pig and gets the teets with the most milk. They don’t become larger as adults, just bubbas when they are puppies. I must say I did notice how huge he is compared to his sisters. hahah 🙂 Strider is our first male dog(he is our 4th)and he is just a pig. I think it is a guy thing..

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