Costco Run


For some reason it has become a societal norm that anyone going to Costco is obligated to inform their friends and offer to pick something up.

White People

Someone is laughing all the way to the bank with their rotten juice … I mean … “Sparkling Probiotic Drink.” Whatever.

Today was fun filled. It actually started yesterday. I met up with Hot For Teacher for drinks aprés Renaissance Adventure Camp that both our kids are in.

I usually stop by Fuji with them to get onigiri (Japanese rice balls) which perks them up after a long day of sword fighting and role playing.

HFT bullied me into sitting in the sun WHICH I NEVER DO because I fear turkey neck almost as much as death.

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That neck is just under the skin, waiting to be activated by the sun

We found a nice place on the roof and she forced me to drink three margaritas (which is too many margaritas, FYI) and we talked all kinds of shit, but quietly because our kids were right there being annoying.

It was all swords this, quest that, when all I really wanted was juicy gossip.

Just when I was feeling like an inferior parent because she was actually paying attention to the crap they were talking about, she offered $1 to anyone willing to eat a jalapeño. Scratchy stepped up.

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That was money well spent. I love a sadistic mom.

I stopped off at Eureka to get a bone marrow burger (gross) for a friend of mine who asked me to pick him up from a little elective surgery (code for lipo and lid lift) and he was going to go home BY HIMSELF and I was like, guess again.

I practically had to sit on him to keep him from bouncing around but I was like, “Baby, I’ve just been there with the lipo, sit your ass down.”

He just had to have a marrow burger and coconut water. You cannot say I’m not a good friend because those are two things I would never buy. That and sparking drinking vinegar.

Me and HFT walked home where our kids ran ahead to and played on the roof in our absence. She communed with chickens.

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Boulder is hopping right now. I woke up this morning to the sound of helicopters everywhere and it wasn’t until I dropped my kids off at the park did I realize it was Tube To Work Day.

I pulled over and watched the show.

Within five minutes I witnessed no less than two ambulance incidents. One dude thought he was having a heart attack and another person either broke her arm or dislocated her shoulder. By the sounds of her bloodcurdling screams I guess it was pretty bad.

Luckily the water rescue unit was parked in that lot but they were off on another rescue and I watched brave people stand in the waist deep water with her (she was on the opposite shore which was too steep to climb) and redirect tubers that inevitably crashed into them for a half hour.

That was some brutally cold water and it was running pretty high for 1000 people to jam down it. I remember when it was just ten people, I’m pretty sure my ex husband was one of them.

Between the icy cold collision course and the sparkling drinking vinegar, people must think Boulderites are insane, present company included. I’m inclined to agree.

5 thoughts on “Costco Run

  1. Bummed I missed the ‘Tube to Work’ scene but liked watching the video you included, definitely will be creek side or in the creek next year! But I do go to Fuju and loved the rice balls! Thanks for the introduction to both things.

    • It was fun to watch but I would have missed it had I not been on the creek dropping my kids off. I will definitely mark my calendar to check it out next year.

  2. You make me miss Boulder, or at least the Boulder of my 1970s youth. Having grown up there, it’s the only place I ever feel truly “normal.”

Really? No way.

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