T*tty P*ssy F*ck

I was like, “HA! BOOBS!” and my kid was like, “Huh? What? Where?” and I pointed out the sticker and he was like, “That’s a face,” and I was like, “Yep, definitely not hitting puberty yet.”

Costco Run

Just when I was feeling like an inferior parent because she was actually paying attention to the crap they were talking about, she offered $1 to anyone willing to eat a jalapeño.

ESTROGEN POISONING or Manboobs

I’ve been doing it for so long that I don’t think much of it other than it is part of my morning and nightly ritual, like brushing my teeth.

Potty Talk

Most parents (or child-care involved people) will know about the potty talk phase. It’s when kids are obsessed with bodily functions. It usually subsides after about a year of telling them to knock it off but it has only gotten worse. Not my kids. Me. For a while I appeared to be obsessed with writing […]