First Week of Summer: Bolder Boulder, Baby Goats, Not Dead Animals, Foxes, Hiking, and Bald Chiweenies


I haven’t felt like writing much, I’m afraid of getting maudlin about Blue.

I dreamt that Loony and I went to the rescue we got Blue from and found a big Dane that looked like him but without the blaze. I fell in love with him but the coordinator told me that the dog was six. I broke down in tears over loving a dog that was likely to not live very long … not that an old dog doesn’t deserve a second chance.

I’ll save the painful nocturnal ruminations and leave it with this adorable video of Blue and That Fucking Cat. It shows how gentle and sensitive and sweet he was.

Anyhoo, life goes on and summer is here. It always starts with the Bolder Boulder. I couldn’t run it because of my recent lipo so Stitch and Sam ran with the boys. I thought I would never hear the end of the complaining but both kids were really positive and eager to do it again.

I’m committed to getting my kids outside as much as possible which means I get to be outside as well. It’s a win-win.

Like last summer I put it out to my network that my minivan seats seven and I’m happy to pack it with kids. Parents appreciate me taking their kids off their hands and I appreciate having other kids around to motivate my kids to stop being such whiny assholes enjoy the great outdoors.

Hike

Truth be told, the kids don’t annoy me at all. What annoys me is listening to my kids bicker and complain. That goes away when you add some more kids to the mix.

Hike 2

Kids won’t go outside unless you make them, so I make them.

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I took the kids to the Wild Animal Sanctuary in Keensburg. Naturally I brought a couple more kids along with me. We were there when it opened and had the place pretty much to ourselves. The critters were very active although the pictures make it look like a bunch of dead animals.

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Each group of animals has a 20 acre habitat and they spent time lounging in the sun or swimming in their water features.

I’ve been on a wild animal kick. We have foxes in our neighborhood and one has been making regular visits, probably to check out the henhouse.

One morning I was in the shower and Loony started hollering about the fox. I ran out the bathroom with a towel only to run into Sam (who had spent the night) also in a towel.

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We both were in the shower but not together.

Then when we were up at Jason and Emily’s place, in the middle of dinner I saw a fox just oh-so-casually walk up behind us.

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I was the only one who saw it so I pointed and started shrieking FOX FOX FOX until everyone turned around.

My friend Maya has been texting me late at night where we go to dark places when it comes to animal fantasies. I love it that she can roll with that level of weird.

goats

I haven’t seen her since I stopped doing pole and she’s been trying to lure me down to Ft. Collins for some time now. She had me at baby goats.

She knows a woman who breeds miniature fainting goats and arranged a visit for us. It was everything. Here’s a bunch of gratuitous videos of us chasing baby goats, making out with baby goats, and watching baby goats fall over.

Here’s Maya trying to scare baby goats but just ends up being adorable.

Hey Maya, thank you so much for inviting us along to this wonderful place. You see videos on youtube about fainting goats but you never think you will actually see them IRL. That was totally cool.

Micah Goat

We hung out at the farm for a bit afterwards to have lunch and talk to the owner. She definitely has a little slice of heaven.

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Janet breeds Bourbon Red turkeys, an endangered species. She said that all the early depictions of turkeys in America are Bourbon Reds and there are fewer than 5000 breeding birds in the United States. Her tom is quite the studly specimen.

I love how he swanned around, rattled his feathers and asserted his dominance.

So that’s the stuff we did on week one of summer vacation. And they boys met with their math tutor so they don’t get stupid keep up with their skills.

We also volunteered for the Whittier Garden Tour as garden sitters.

I also went to the Boulder Block Party – my third time – because it’s such a nice summer party. It was only this time that I realized it was a creative industry event. Ha! I thought it was just a neat fundraiser. With booze.

So I guess I was crashing the event with a bunch of my friends but hey, we bought tickets, and I had a great time having completely random conversations with creative types. I got into a full-blown shouting match with a stranger about whether Adnan Said is guilty or that fucker Jay got away with murder. I think it’s the latter.

Yes, all this happened in one week.

Sunday night I found myself thinking, “Oh good, tomorrow is Monday so the kids will be out of my hair and I can get some work done!”

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We leave for our Mediterranean cruise on Saturday (god, isn’t that so obnoxious sounding?) and I don’t want to freak out on Friday night with a bunch of last minute shit so I spent all day organizing, packing, doing laundry, and getting stuff set up for when I’m gone.

No doubt I will still be scrambling up to the last minute but it makes my heart slow down just a little when I look over and see my suitcases packed (more or less), travel outfits for the family set aside, and our itinerary and documents printed out.

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This makes me feel good

Did I mention that in addition to Scheissehund wearing diapers, he now wears a cone?

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Cone of shame

I had him tested for mange, skin fungus, have him on an elimination diet to rule out food allergies, and his fur is still coming out.

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Sorry about the D-pic but this illustrates how he used to have fur on his chest and legs

I put a cone on him to see if he’s chewing the fur off or if it’s falling out. He’s bald in places that his onesie usually covers up so there is really only one way to test my theory.

God, what a total pain he is. I mean, OF COURSE I have a half naked dog with a mysterious skin condition. It seems like being high maintenance and weird is a requiremnt of being close to me.

I’ll leave you with some stuff I found on the internet that makes me happy or just confuses me.

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Yaaass!

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Amen

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This is everything because I love cat balls

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Proof that Bates must be a Maine Coon because he looks just like this bad boy

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WHY ISN’T THIS ME?

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Can someone please explain this? Beyoncé was born in September. I was born in November. Why do I keep seeing this ad? It is clearly targeted at me but I don’t know why.

Jesus, that took forever.

2 thoughts on “First Week of Summer: Bolder Boulder, Baby Goats, Not Dead Animals, Foxes, Hiking, and Bald Chiweenies

Really? No way.

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