I was supposed to take it easy the day after surgery but I failed in that area. Despite my best intentions I was up and around a lot more than I wanted and it took a toll on me halfway through the day.

I was so stoked not to be in excruciating pain that I made bad decisions. For instance, I probably should not have scheduled an orthodontist appointment for Scratchy.

MPT yelled at me and resolved to take it easy for the next few days which really helped.

My bruising gets worse each day. The first I barely saw it peeking past my panties but each day gravity pulls it down my legs. Now I’m wearing bruise shorts and giving Stitch a run for her money. I’m more fucked up than she is after a weekend of fun BDSM escapades.

I am massaging my thighs with arnica oil to get the bruising dissipate faster. I knew I’d find a use for this bad boy …

People talk about anesthesia lingering for weeks but I feel clear as a bell. Motrin is sufficient for pain and I feel like I could do without it but the doctor wants me to keep taking it to assist with healing and inflammation.

So far I feel localized soreness, restricted movement (bending, etc) but that is in part due to being trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey.

It doesn’t feel good to lie on my back but I don’t have the same constricted feeling I had before, at least not as bad. The area around my navel feels like it’s pulling because of the belly button revision. I’m going to sleep in the easy chair at least through tonight.

I was told to sleep at a 45 degree angle which not only feels better on my back, it probably encourages the swelling to go away.

By yesterday I hadn’t, er, moved my bowels, despite I’m taking fiber and stool softeners.

At least I have my friends to share my small victories with. Today was a red letter day.

AB and Mo wanted me to Facetime and I was like Bitches, please. Then they wanted to put me on speaker phone at the studio and I was like, will you please just leave me alone so I can watch my damn show?!

I iced my abdomen and back through the third day and elevating my feet when I sit. The nurse urged me to get up and move around to prevent blood clots and I was like, “Not a problem. I would love to say I sat still for more than 20 minutes at a time.”

The doorbell keeps ringing and workers have questions then the dog wants something or the phone rings and I couldn’t sit still if my life depended on it. Not because I am tired but because getting up and down causes a deeper strained feeling.

It’s not exactly pain, it’s more like effort. Lots and lots of sore effort. By today it is about half as bad as the previous day, though.

Part of the problem is that every time I get up I have to move the dog and he looks so fucking cute asleep in my lap.

Then when was time to sit back down he needs help up but he does that stupid cat thing where he acts all freaked out and backs away so I have to lunge to grab him by the head to pull him close enough to pick up and that takes MORE energy.

 

By today (day four, or maybe you could say five, it’s Sunday and I got my work done on Wednesday) l am much less bloated (but I still look fat AF) and I’m not guarding my breathing, it feels good to expand my chest and breathe into my belly. I feel like something loosened up under my skin and it feels good to gently rub my dressings.

See how big I look? I wouldn’t be surprised if I have ten pounds of water retention. I pretty much only have one outfit I can wear outside the house and I CAN’T WAIT for tomorrow’s post-op where I can lose the thick dressings.

Another fun fact, my cooch is swollen, more specifically the right side. I was warned about this at my pre-op but not on the internet because the internet is only for glamour shots. I’m not going to elaborate more on this but suffice to say that it’s a thing.

At day four post-op I can say that the pain isn’t bad at all. If I had a desk job I would be more than ready to go back to it provided I didn’t have to move around too much. Over exertion leads to swelling and fatigue which is counterproductive.

This is my house now.

The only thing that is really worrying me is Tabby. I didn’t tell her that I was doing this and now she’s pissed.

Yeaaaah, she’s my biggest worry right now. Other than her, the recovery hasn’t been so bad provided that I relax.

The pain hasn’t been horrible, I never woke up in the middle of the night behind the pain like I did with my tummy tuck or breast augmentation. I didn’t need narcotics past the first two days, and even the support garment wasn’t that big of a deal (I was warned that it might be itchy).

The girdle feels looser today which I suspect is due to shedding some of the water weight and I think from here on I get to enjoy the “fun” part of recovery where I will be smaller and smaller each day as things settle down. That said, I’m glad I didn’t plan a beach vacation any time soon because it will take probably a month to see some of the real results.

I am cautiously excited about tomorrow although I know that it will be a train wreck under my dressings. I’ve been Googling lipo disasters to get myself ready. But at least I will shed at least an inch in foam and girdle so I’ll be a little more back to myself.

Heather is coming with me to hold my hand and take pictures. Wish me luck.