Magical Thinking and Duct Tape


Spring Break went by shockingly fast as opposed to the usual trudge of years past. It shouldn’t surprise me that going out of town is more exhausting than staying put.

Loony is still in Ecuador; he’s up in the mountains somewhere looking at birds between deluges. I don’t like planning trips (just ask Sideboob) so I didn’t get involved in his planning process other than recommending he talk to Sideboob if he needed help. He didn’t.

He plunged forth into planning an eleven-day trip while I maintained a blissful lack of emotional investment.

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Don’t worry about Loony, take pictures of kids and dogs

So I guess I wasn’t surprised when he casually mentioned that even though it is rainy season in Ecuador, he doubts it will rain on him.

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I’m using lots of Obama pictures because I miss him so much

This is classic Loony magical thinking. Somehow the clouds will part – just for him! – and he will avoid the legendary equatorial rainy seasons because he is on vacation.

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April is the Rainiest. Season. Ever.

But you know what?

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There I go again with the Obama memes

I got 99 problems and rain ain’t one.

Like yesterday after a five hour drive back from Crested Butte with the boys, I dumped everything in the living room, headed to the store and got back home to find Nitro rolling up with his kids looking for a playdate. It wasn’t great timing but hey, so it goes.

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There was a rather intense dog scene

We had been staying with friends for the last two nights in Crested Butte, most of them were super sick so we huddled onto the one couch that none of the sick people sat on and washed our hands a lot.

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I slept with Itchy and Scheissehund on that couch

We hit the slopes on Friday but it was somewhat of a clusterfuck getting everyone going. MPT was there but she had just rolled her ankle hiking and was worried that she broke it and wanted to get an x-ray first. Then we had to figure out tickets. Then we had to get all parties to rendezvous coming from different places.

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Scratchy confirming that yes, Itchy has horrible morning breath

By the time we slid up to the Silver Lady lift we were turned away due to lightning. So we had lunch, the kids ran off to MPT’s hotel room, the lifts came back on, the kids came back having forgotten this that and the other thing so Gofer had to run back to their hotel … you get the picture.

BUT, we had a great time once we got started.

That’s Scratchy riding like a champ. The person falling over in the background is me. For the record, I am a better rider than him … for now.

Crested Butte is a very cute town, the main attraction for us was Niky’s Donuts.

I’m not a donut person but these little babies – straight out of the hot oil lazy river – just melt in your mouth.

Scott (our host) cracked a rib so he was one hurting unit riding the prescription pain meds. Fortunately he was feeling well enough to get breakfast on our way out of town at the Paradise Café.

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Fake Family

He’s a former EMT and ski patrol so he had lots of fun stories and information to regale the kids with.

So yes, it was a really nice trip and we were ready for some down time by the time we got home.

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Scheissehund was especially worn out

My Airbnb client called to let me know that the bathroom sink drain was slow and that it was NO BIG DEAL, she was happy to brush her teeth in the kitchen sink. So when I arrived home and Nitro and kids were there, I had shit to do.

I popped upstairs with a drain cleaning device that usually does the trick but no dice. I told my guests that I would get some Draino and be back. Back downstairs Nitro’s kids were squawking for food and I really wasn’t in the place to start up the kitchen, so I ignored them.

“I need to get some Draino,” I said in lieu of snapping into short-order cook mode.

“Do you want me to look at it?” Nitro asked.

It can go either way when Nitro helps and I left the situation in a contained and manageable place but he would not take no for an answer.

He tried the same tool as I did, didn’t work (duh) so he took apart the j-pipe figuring the blockage was lower down. Still nothing.

But what he hadn’t realized was that the pipe was so old that it was held together with plumber’s putty and it wasn’t going back together. I offered to go to the hardware store but he said he’d put it together with duct tape and try running Draino through it, which he went back to his house for.

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Sketchy AF

Naturally the duct tape didn’t hold and now it was leaking Draino and gross black water under the sink. Not to mention that it is Saturday night and getting an actual plumber in there would cost a fortune.

After enjoying many drinks with Hilary and Scott, I thought I’d take the day off drinking.

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Delicious drinks at Dogwood

So much for that idea.

The long and the short is that I ended up going to Home Depot (like I wanted to in the first place) got some Draino (ditto) and replacement pipes, Nitro put it all back together and ran the Draino down it it (which worked, BTW) and I fed the kids.

Was I irritated? Yes.

Was I going to make a big deal out of it? No.

Nitro got himself into this shit and he eventually got himself out of it and replaced a pipe that needed replacing. And he didn’t throw up his hands and abandon me with a big mess that required an expensive plumber.

Sure we were tired and having people over wasn’t exactly what we had in mind, but it worked out and we were able to have a few laughs about it.

In other news, the clutch of eggs that Trevor has been sitting on has hatched. So far we have four chicks, all different colors!

Trevor is the best mama, here she is teaching Pumpkin how to peck for food …

By the way, I binged on S-Town, the new podcast from the makers of This American Life and Serial.

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There are a lot of really great reviews of S-Town out there but I encourage you to just listen and let it unfold at its own pace, free of spoilers. It’s unexpected, meandering, heartbreaking, thrilling, shocking and unflinching. At seven one-hour episodes, it was just the ticket for our drive. Give it a listen.

Me? After a week of non-stop kid time, I’m going to an apple pie contest this afternoon. Naturally my recipe is going to win but there’s nothing I love more than some sexually explicit shit talk.

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If his pie is half as good as his smack talk, I might be in a run for my money. But I doubt it.

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