To Love and Be Loved

Two more hours of sleep would have been nice. Really nice.

I am feeling a bit dazed on the four hours I got last night; I went dancing with Loony and Chris in Denver, it was a very non-Boulder experience.

Chris raved about Mike Huckaby, a legendary Detroit DJ, here in Denver for one night to do an eight-hour DJ set. I know next to nothing about music and legends but I took his word for it and went with him to the show.


Chris is a huge follower, collector, and promoter of the arts. He and his husband have a private arts foundation in New York. I’ve watched him take unknown artists and place them in the spotlight just so. He loves making careers.

Before the show, which didn’t start until midnight, he insisted that we see the work of an artist he is getting behind. He said we would be dazzled.

Photos can’t do the work justice. For one, the pieces are huge. Secondly, they are drawn in silver coated crystals and glue like the sand paintings we made as kids, but his work isn’t child’s play. It’s a carefully rendered, deeply nuanced, study in light, texture and reflectiveness. The way they play with light and reflection is magic.


Crystals everywhere

Adding to the environment was his studio, located on the west end of Pearl, it brought me back to the days when spaces like this once were commonplace.

What was remarkable about the space was its sheer unremarkability. It wasn’t a glistening palace of granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, walk-in closets and jacuzzi tubs. It wasn’t a backdrop for fabulous Mid-Century Modern furniture. It was a completely humble studio in a small stone building set far back from the street. How long before it turns into a McMansion or a 20 unit luxury condo development?

There was something about drinking champagne from coffee mugs and wandering around the studio and glimpsing into his process, his life, that reminded me of what Boulder used to be like … unassuming and practical, about people’s work and not the magnificence of their homes. It was a treat to step back into it.

There was also this …


Saucy Minx

Look beyond the freaked out eyes and the splayed limbs, that cat was into me. Just like the cat is in this cartoon …


Dude. So true.

I knew I was in for a long night so I tried to take it easy during the day, maybe disco nap. Do you know how hard it is to disco nap with kids?


Itchy and Scheissehund “helping” me nap

Perhaps a leisurely morning screaming at MPT would be the best way to ease into the day. I woke up restless – as usual – and thought that I would surprise her by showing up at her house at 7am in a robe.


Guess who else came?

But there was a strange car in her driveway and I suspected that once again she’s fancying it up in the mountains.

Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 2.37.03 PM

I think she’s avoiding me on purpose.

So yeah, not so much relaxing but the evening was like being in a time warp. There was the studio visit, there were the meal at Chris’s house with friends, there was the the surreal drive to Denver with Chris and Loony having the most asinine arguments while I sat back and enjoyed watching their dynamic, both friendly and antagonistic, play out like a stand-up routine.

There was the place. Man, I remember when you could have a party in a warehouse without worrying about permits, licenses, noise, and neighbors. You could just do what you wanted. Live music came from a yard littered with American flags and motorcycles, no one cared.

And the venue was so cool. I mean, it was and it wasn’t. It was a small warehouse on a lot filled with junk, but it was completely homegrown in a way that you can’t have when property values are through the roof. Guerilla music scenes are hard to find in my town.

The music was dope, deep beats laid atop Fela Kuti vocals and the like. The records were deeply grooved, I overheard someone say that you could hear all the popping because he’s being playing these records for over 20 years. And I was with Loony. He was roped into decided to come at the last minute and he felt like my guardian, just there to be with me.

I think he was mostly looking out for me. Chris is a maniac (aka no kids) who loves to stay out late. Me? I wake up at 6am whether I want to or not and I promised to make paella the next day for a dinner party.


I can always get it done but I appreciated having a ride back home on my schedule.

I could have stayed longer and danced more – the music was great – but I knew that Loony wouldn’t leave me behind and he, too, has a big day coming with his Ecuador trip just on the horizon.

I felt effusive in the car, my head still full of music. It was like when Loony owned a club and we’d dance all night, only this time felt better. We were heading home to our reality, our kids, and a life that suits us, one where I can be my most honest self.


Blue woke me up to walk and I spared Loony the debate over whose turn it was (here’s a hint: It’s always his turn). On my walk a old red Volvo did a u-turn and flashed its lights at me, it was The Mister and amidst the shit show of dogs and leash aggression I had a nice moment in the gloom of the morning with a very old friend.

I thought about The Mister, not an easy person to know or care for, and I thought of the many people in my life (me included) who are hard to love and I thought that maybe that’s what I’m here to learn, how to people for who they are and maybe to be loved for who I am.


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