Snow Day and Just In Time

… because what me and my kids really need after a two and-a-half week break following a one week break is ONE DAY OF SCHOOL before a snow day.

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Said I never

At least I made the most of yesterday.

I quelled my fiscal angst about shelling out money for a family pass at our local ski resort by dragging taking the boys snowboarding five times over the break. Typically one kid had a great day and the other had a whiny, snivelly, self-defeating day.


And the more one suffered, the more confident and cocky the other got. And vice versa. At one point one of my kids who shall remain unnamed actually said, “I hate powder!” and I was like, “WAAAH! SHUT YOUR IGNORANT MOUTH!”


I said that. I’m not proud.

But we had a great powder day on the last day of break (or so I thought) and the snivelly one managed to turn his day around thanks to the power of peer pressure (I was there with MPT’s kids) and we all had a good day.


I think this graphic is about how to combat peer pressure but sometimes a little positive peer pressure can get kids to stop acting like little bitches (can I still say that?) and suck it up and have some goddamned fun for once.

Then the boys went back to school and I had an EPIC day.

I went up to Eldo with MPT, her husband and Loony. It was kind of like we were the kids. Half of us were winning winning winning and the other half had bad days.

Loony’s prehistoric, homemade gear failed on the first run so he shelled out $60 to rent gear (something he is loathe to do) and then he hurt is ankle on the next run and had to bail which was made worse by me and Gofer (MPT’s husband) being like, “See ya later, we’ll take the bus because there is no way we are leaving this.”

MPT was nursing a cold and was overwhelmed by the powder and extreme conditions (powder is its own animal for sure) and drove Loony home. But I and MPT’s husband were like this …


This was with frozen batteries so we had zero music and other good things that one likes to take snowboarding

It was gale force winds at the top, white out conditions in places, and sweet, sweet powder for dayssssss.

Something about all that snow let me out of my cage. After taking one fall and experiencing zero pain, I realized that the mountain was my bitch and I made it my goal to bomb down everything I could at maximum speed (AKA try to keep up with Gofer).

When you know you can fail without consequence, you can do anything.


In the last two days and went from a merely competent snowboarder to a pretty good snowboarder and it feels great to get better at something at my advanced age of 52.

I think the worst part of the day was after we finished and I went to the ladies room and my hoodie was full of snow and dumped ice down my shirt.

Other than that it was one of those wonderful days where I had all the confidence and enthusiasm in the world and didn’t feel like I broken down old lady.


Snow crusted everything and a shit eating grin

And I didn’t have to deal with managing my kids’ conflicting emotions.

Speaking of powder, I have been meaning to share this video from the last Pole Theater USA.

Elizabeth Carmine Black competed in the Classique Professional Division, that would be the, er, sensual striptease division. AKA THE BEST DIVISION EVER!

She didn’t win because she didn’t get her use of talcum powder approved in advance and was docked points. The talc was a stand-in for coke.


This was a HUGE issue because Sideboob – who produces the event – was not aware that she was going to do this, thus she didn’t have the proper cleaning resources, she hadn’t cleared it with the venue and could have lost her deposit, talc is very slippery and presents a very real risk to performers that went after her (Sideboob would have put her last had she known and it would have given the crew time to clean), blah blah but THAT SAID, it was fun to see someone go all the way like that.


I was screaming the loudest because I loves me some super skanky classique. And I mean skanky in the most complementary of ways.

I love a woman who can rock a g-string on stage and fucking rule! ECB is sexy as hell and I respect her for it.

I was a little giddy at how pissed Sideboob was because I know how she is when she’s angry and it’s super fun to watch.


I was not supportive, I kept texting her things like, “HAHAHAHAHA!” and “SUCKS TO BE YOU!” while she fumed. Sometimes that’s what friends do.

At least it cuts both ways. She just sent me this.

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End of powder tangent.

It is snowing LIKE CRAZY and I’m managing this crazy insomnia by falling asleep to Parks and Rec reruns and taking the snowblower out for a whirl.


I have zero buyer’s remorse.

I’ve also been on a major dog diaper/fashionable outwear designing kick … just in time for the kind of weather Scheissehund refuses to go out in.

I like having a project (and my next project really needs to be a book) even if it’s making diapers for my stupid dog. I’m pretty proud of these, though. I eliminated Velcro because it’s always the first thing to fail. The outfit is kept in place with one snap, the liners are held in with four and they work like a charm.

Now the pipes are frozen (again) and I think that the only productive thing I can do today is put together that Liberty Puzzle I got for Loony and do this …




5 thoughts on “Snow Day and Just In Time

  1. Just what I needed this am sitting on my couch with a sore back! BTW you look happy snow boarding🏂🏂🏂Crystal

    Sent from my iPad


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