Have you ever planned something so far in advance that it kind of sneaks up on you? It happens to me all the time.

And it’s what is happening to me right now as the realization settles in that in less than I week I’ll be off on a fabulous adventure with Nina.

Since she does all the planning, I kind of decide to go, buy whatever ticket she tells me to buy and then I put it out of my mind.

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We are flying into Iceland for a day, then flying into Munich, picking up a rental car and driving this route over the next 11 days.

I’m in a great place for the trip this year. I left for last year’s Paris adventure at the very end of my foray into provincial politics and my nerves were fried to say the least. This time around I’m feeling really good, especially when Nina tags me in posts like this:


To illustrate just how completely not with it I was, three days ago I realized that if we were going to have Scratchy’s birthday before I leave, we would have to have it today.

Did I mention that I’m gone over Scratchy’s birthday? My bad.


All I have to do is get through tonight because tomorrow my Beautiful Dream Lover comes and I can bask in his radiant light and forget that I had seven boys ping-ponging around my house for six hours.

This video is inexplicably missing the dubstep soundtrack  which is, and I quote, “Really good dubstep.”

Said no one. Ever.

The plan was to invite some friends over right after school. I’d feed them and then take them to a park where they shoot arrows at each other for a couple hours.


Scratchy made it to third base with this slutty little minx

I waited in the car with Scheissehund because I didn’t want to be one of those parents to have to micromanage their kids’ playtime.


And I would rather chat with Pamcakes.

Even though I offered to cook anything Scratchy wanted, he insisted on Taco Bell.

At first I trie to talk him out of it, offering up a home made taco bar but then I realized that I have just been given a beautiful gift.


I let them order whatever they wanted but didn’t let them get sodas because I’m not a fucking maniac.


I apologized to the staff at Taco Bell and offered to clean up the spray pattern if they gave me a rag. They declined my offer. I seriously wished I could have left a tip.


At home I gave this this crazy Japanese soda that Scratchy adores. I can’t describe it, watch the video.

It wasn’t long until the sugar got to them.

The idea was to settle them into a movie and then drive everyone home. I had the perfect movie …


It stars a pre-Scientology Tom Cruise and more importantly, pre-weight gain Val Kilmer.


In other words, it’s a movie we could all enjoy.

But nooooo. Someone played the birthday card and insisted on watching Lord of the Rings.


So I’m out here blogging and listening with maybe a little schadenfreude as Scratchy gets all irritated when his friends ask endless questions and interrupt a movie he’s seen a billion times.


Every time someone comments he has to say “Hashtag blah, blah, blah.”

It’s hashtag, hashtag, hashtag (times infinity). My head hurts.


Loony is in there with them getting super agitated. I am laughing inside.

And in six days I will be laughing all the way to Iceland. Well, maybe just giggling.

Nina called me today to inform me that a big volcano is suspected to erupt soon in Iceland. I guess it’s a code yellow.


It won’t be dangerous to us (if we are in the air when it goes we will just reroute) but oftentimes what happens is that air travel is suspended until the ash settles.

Since there is nothing to do but go (because we can’t and won’t cancel our trip) we decided that if it blows while we are in Europe we won’t be one of those suckers that sleeps in the airport for five days, all desperate and crying to get home.

Nope, we will make the most of it and enjoy the extra days of adventure.

4 thoughts on “#kidsareannoying

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