Chicken Coochie Cream

I’m not sure how I end up in such extreme pet situations.

I mean, there’s the thing with the dogs … me ending up with a really, really big one and a really, really little one … I get that. But now it’s chickens. And frogs.


Having lunch with Scheissehund

As I wrote in my last blog one of my layers has a nasty yeast infection. I’m doing all the things: the daily baths in epsom salts, blow drying, yogurt and apple cider vinegar, isolation, etc. But while she’s getting better, she’s not getting better fast enough. Each morning her butt is a mess.


A morning bath

Probiotics and vinegar are fine but I’m a big fan of actual medicine so while Google didn’t turn up any medication for chicken yeast infections, when I typed in “using human monostat on chickens” Google yielded a few articles that said it would be okay. Sooo ….


It’s not for me, I swear!

I popped on over to my neighbor’s house where the sick chicken – let’s call her Candide, har – is in isolation (aka free ranging while the other girls look at her like she’s gonna get shivved when she is back on the inside)


… and proceeded to stick it up her butt … or vent to be more exact. Then I massaged some cream on the outside to help with the discomfort.

The neighborhood girls gathered around to watch and were sufficiently grossed out but Candide took it pretty well.

I have definitely taken it to the next level with this bird.

Hopefully this means I can start my day with a nice cup of decaf or maybe a little walk with Tabby and skip the chicken butt grooming sessions.

I hope she gets better before I leave for yet another trip because she’s probably gonna die since there’s NO WAY anyone else is going to do this shit.

latex gloves

I don’t use gloves because I’m earthy like that

Then there is the issue of the homosexual frogs.

My buddy Bubbles is leaving for Mexico for seven months and her kids talked my kids (or maybe it was the other way around) into taking care of their African dwarf water frog while they are gone.


“We raised Jeffrey from a tadpole,” said Bubbles as she handed him over to me, “take good care of him.”

How could I say no? So they brought him over and, mind you, he is 100% cared for by her kids which means not very cared for. His water was stinking and filthy and he was in a depressing little plastic toy-store aquarium.


I have so many problems with this packaging

I did some research that showed that frogs do better in pairs, need a place to hide, and like to have plants and vegetation around them. So I drop $70 at the pet store for a nice aquarium and these super cool marimo balls


Marimo balls are SO DOPE!

.. and some ferns and a buddy. I call him Bradley.

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I did all this shit for my friend’s frog and what happens? For a few days he totes looks way happier and I’m feeling like I did a good thing to ease the suffering of my animal charge.



I sent that picture to Bubbles and she was all …

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Then he up and dies a few days later! Sorry Bubbles.

He was five years old which put him at the end of of lifecycle anyway but now I have Bradley and a couple marimo balls to look after so what do I have to do?

BUY ANOTHER FROG WHICH IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WANT TO DO because I’m creating a market for them but I can’t just have one because that’s inhumane.

I just really hope the other frog I got is a male but it seems a lot smaller than Bradley and I really don’t want to deal with tadpoles although they might make an excellent stocking stuffer.


Don’t look at me like that!



8 thoughts on “Chicken Coochie Cream

  1. I’m super excited to hear about monostat for chickens! I never knew that was a possibility. And I didn’t do the butt grooming, so my sicko died. Love your dedication!

    • I’m glad my co-op members noticed that she was ailing, I miss stuff. Candide is such a nice chicken, I hope I can cure her. What a horrible way to go.

  2. Two things, Viv. First, I am glad that I hung in there after the first sentence and learned that this blog is about the yeast infection that one of your chickens has and not an infestation in one of your layers. I am used to your blogs being very revealing, but that seemed a little too personal and potentially graphic. Second, if you want any help with African dwarf water frogs, ask Lynn. She has had personal experience with two of them through their lifespan.

    • Yeah, that’s more than one neighbor should need to know about another … and you’ve seen me give birth! I try to let it all hang out but even I have limits. Chicken yeast infections are plenty-o-info as it stands.

  3. The picture of the rubber gloves reminds me of the movie, “The truth about cats and dogs” when Uma had to use a rubber glove for a turtle. Your dedication to all of your animals is very impressive. 🙂

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