I Didn’t See That Coming


The boys have been gone for a full day and here’s what I’ve done:

  1. Read and napped on the porch
  2. Cooked food my kids won’t eat
  3. IMG_3868

    Scheissehund likes kale salad, avocado and roasted yam but my kids don’t

  4. Had pole people over for dinner
  5. Designed a “man sash” for Scheissehund because he won’t stop territorial marking
  6. Set up a chicken hospital in my sun room

Not quite what I had in mind.

Everything started out great with the napping and the reading. Loony is busy with Uncle Itchy so I’m enjoying my slow-motion time. I’m even waking up late, as in 6:45. If I’m ever in bed after anyone gets up, the kids will ask me if I’m feeling okay. I feel great.

IMG_3874

Feeling great with Nina

I had a huge list of things to do but I decided to chuck it in favor of being on staycation. But I did invite participants from the Movement Archery workshop to join me for dinner. Nadia, Jeni, Derick, and Brandon came over, as well as Nina and Harmy.

Naturally there was a tour of The Poulet Rouge.

I took them over to the coop co-op when my neighbor came out to tell me that one of the birds is in distress. I wrapped up the tour, saw the pole stars off to their next workshop and went back over to see if there was anything I could do.

One of our laying hens was in the coop with blood and discharge leaking out of her vent. A search of backyardchickens.com came up with the likely diagnosis: Vent Gleet. The pictures are nasty, take my word for it.

I’m pretty sure that I missed my calling because my neighbor looked at me like I was crazy when I immediately got down to business with bathing the chicken and examining her vent up close and personal. I should have been a midwife.

Not much grosses me out and I am moved by the trust that these birds have in me. I haven’t handled the laying flock much, having gotten them as fully mature hens. But the poor thing was in such deep distress that her little body relaxed into my arms and let me do whatever I needed to do.

I set her up in the sunroom for the night and thankfully she seemed better by morning.

Her bum is still messy so I have to bathe her every day and am feeding her yogurt, calcium, applesauce and apple cider vinegar to clear up her infection.

After caring for the sick chicken I turned my efforts to Scheissehund. He is still territorially marking around the house and I have been dealing with it by never letting him out of my sight. Either he is physically with me or he is in his Sleepypod.

He likes the Sleepypod but it is stressful to always keep an eye on him. I know he is lifting his leg on something if he’s not on my lap. He’s also worrying away at his fur which could be a sign of boredom.

I decided to do the unthinkable, put him in a diaper, or a Man Sash if you will. I’ve been trying out several designs but the problem is that he has a really large dong and it pops out if the sash isn’t secure enough.

#smalldogwithbigpenisproblems

Putting a dog in a diaper is repulsive to me so I had to come up with something effective yet masculine yet cute. Voila!

The velcro and tie keep it in place, two layers of cotton flannel are absorbent, and the gray plaid is masculine. It’s like a little cumberbund.

I’m very much enjoying my staycation. It is way more relaxing than going anywhere even with a house full of guests and chicken emergencies.

 

3 thoughts on “I Didn’t See That Coming

  1. I love the pictures of you bathing your hen. You both look so Zenned out. Your penis cumberbund is such a great idea. Love it.

  2. Pingback: Chicken Coochie Cream | Vivienne's Process of Elimination

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