The Kids Are Away and I’m Going To Play

I dropped Itchy and Scratchy off this morning for their first ever summer sleep-away camp. This is after a full day of parties yesterday.

We went to a birthday party where the parents rigged a giant waterslide on the hill behind their house that landed in a jumpy castle.


Jason does not fuck around

Did the rental guy approve of this use? In a word, no.

This is the third – and by far least dangerous – configuration of this slide. Previous attempts have led to near death experiences and spinal injuries.

Speaking about near death experiences, Loony is going to get it one of these days if he keeps this shit up.

Anyway, I can say with full confidence that the boys have had a bitchin’ summer so far and it’s only going to get better with this camp they are going to.

They’ve both been to Calwood before for a night or two but this is their first full-week experience. I know they will both have a great time and won’t miss home at all.

Me? I’m going to luxuriate in a slower pace and catch my breath from my recent frenzy of summer activity.

I already posted about hiking up Gray’s Peak but today Nina sent me the pictures she took. Speaking as the Staff Photographer for our family, it is wonderful to be relieved of the responsibility every now and then.

It’s also great to have a photo of myself that I didn’t have to twist Loony’s arm into taking.

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Loony’s BFF is visiting for a few days. He’s Itchy’s namesake so I guess that would make him Uncle Itchy for the purpose of this blog.


Uncle Itchy is not a small dog person so naturally Scheissehund is drawn to him

After dropping the kids off I have been cooking, reading and napping on the porch with Scheissehund while Loony and Uncle Itchy drink beer and play Scrabble. Loony calls it “undirected time” and we are loving it.


He is le tired.

Another exciting turn of events is that a bunch of pole people are in town to take a movement workshop from Tom Weksler. It’s by all accounts incredible and very demanding.

Yuri Marmenstein, a very built Ukrainian handstand guru, was the first to show up. Bro is stoic as fuck.

He. Does. Not. Smile.


It’s about to get all Eastern Promises up in here

But he did hoist a 6×8 foot soaking wet rug off the ground for me.

Then this lovely lady showed up and I was like, “Aren’t you Jeni Janover?”

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I took her Liquid Motion workshop at Pole Expo a couple years ago and loved it. I blogged about it and put a little video of her in the post (hint, it’s the one where she tells us to point our buttholes at everyone in the room)

I am imaginary friends with her on FB but I didn’t know she was coming out. What a wonderful surprise.

Loony told me that there were naked people on the 3rd floor deck so I popped up with my camera to see what was going on.

We took our shirts off and examined each other’s boobies and then Nadia and Derick started doing handstands.

I swear there is no one as funny as her.

Now I remember why I love pole dancers. As if I ever could forget.

Nadia Sharif is staying with me and I’m trying to get together with her so we can get wasted and wrestle topless … WITH NO KIDS AROUND … but it’s hard to fit in some screwing around time with this Israeli Army Special Forces training regime she’s on.


We’ll figure it out.

One thought on “The Kids Are Away and I’m Going To Play

  1. Pingback: What I Did For Summer Vacation | Vivienne's Process of Elimination

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