Spring Break (aka more work for me) is over, Loony is back out of town and the kids are in school.
How do I feel?
Remember how I was all boo-hoo when Loony was gone? It took exactly 20 minutes to stop missing him and wishing he would go away.
Why 20 minutes? That’s how long it took for me to unload the car he packed full of “extremely valuable items” that are now my problem.
Thank god he didn’t have a U-haul.
I was grumbling loudly about all the
shit extremely valuable items he brought home and he was all, “Please don’t disparage what I brought back, it’s all worth a lot.”
Well then you shouldn’t go out of town motherfucker, because guess what I’m going to do? (Click the images to read the very important descriptions)
And I’m just getting started.
But first, I’m going to make a to-do list. Are you ready?
- Walk the dog – by myself
- Do an hour of yoga – by myself
- Watch an episode of The Returned (I can hear My Parasitic Twin yelling at the computer and she can just shut the fuck up. I know you think the French version is better but I got started on the English one and I don’t feel like reading subtitles because that is considered work and I’m on vacation!) – by myself
- Eat lunch – by myself
- Scan the mountain of paperwork Loony brought back that may or may not be relevant while listening to podcasts – by myself
- Schedule a guy with a big truck to come over and empty out the garage and haul everything to the dump. But I’m not doing that shit by myself, I’m going to need help.
- Start researching “bulk lots of vintage gold-tone cufflinks” and “vintage straight razors” on eBay because guess what my new job is?
If I start getting all cry-cry about Loony being gone, someone come over and punch me in the fucking face like the one time Tabby reached out to me because she missed her husband.