Stuff I Like to Write About


This is what happens when I go through my photos to delete unwanted images. I see pictures of things I  was amused, disgusted or inspired by.

Oxford comma intentionally omitted.

Then I have to write a blog like this because I want to use them and then delete them.

Results may vary.

I like taking pictures of Mr. Bates when he looks dead.

I put pictures of him in my blog because there’s a better chance that Dirdy Birdy will read my blog and want to visit me all the way from Australia. Her real name is Anh Le.

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Oh, that’s right. She is visiting this summer with all the Aussies for Pole Theater USA! I can’t wait to blog about it.

Hey Deebs, Bates likes to sleep on the guest bed where you will be sleeping. I would be more upset about it except that now I know that he will butter you up good and you will have so much fun that you will give me a cool nickname and we will be best friends forever!

Just kidding. Not about Bates sleeping with you, I’m sure he will.

I also like to post videos of my dogs, especially when there is a chance of violence.

One of these days I want to see Bates kick the little dog’s ass. Once he raised a paw to him and, I kid you not, the little dog squealed like he had just been murdered … and Bates didn’t even touch him.

Then there is stuff I see that tickles me like this display at my local grocery store. Seriously, this one stopped me in my tracks.

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This is not so wrong it’s right. It’s just … wrong. So wrong.

Smellcome? As in smell cum? And then manhood? Are you fucking kidding me? I have a olfactory image (is that a thing?) and believe me, it does not smell like Old Spice.

Did an actual person write this? Did they think for a moment how it might go over? Did they run it by their 13 year-old nephew before going into mass production? Or maybe a 44 year-old housewife with a juvenile sense of humor? Seriously, I’m the person who does the shopping and sees this shit.

And I thank you.

Then there’s this stuff …

And pictures of My Parasitic Twin embarking on doom (those are 18 raw eggs she’s carrying in one hand, BTW) …

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What could possibly go wrong?

I also like to gush about people I love. Like Myjah.

I am mother to two boys but I have the pleasure of surrogate daughters. My Asian Daughter (MAD) Waeli, moved to New York. I miss her.

Fortunately I found another Asian Daughter (not a replacement, mind you) who is so sweet I just want to eat her up. Like MAD, she knits. It must be an asian thing. I posted this on her wall one day …

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And what do you know? A few days later she presented me with …

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Dude, I know how jealous you all are. Deal with it.

For the record, I am really good at accepting gifts. I jumped up and down and screamed and tried to bite an ear off … at her place of work.

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Testing out our fox and boo-boo bunny ears

Myjah is the sweetest, most considerate, most reliable person in the universe (next to Nina but shorter and therefore huggier).

After she spent time with me and Loony, she played a game of Magic with the boys.

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That game hurts my brain. It’s like learning a whole new language.

I realize I have the tendency to write tribute posts about the awesome people in my life but that’s just how I roll.

Everyone deserves to be seen and acknowledged. No one should go without knowing the wonderful ways in which they touch others. If that makes me a fawning kiss-ass, then so be it. At least I’m not an asshole who doesn’t appreciate the people around me.

Furthermore, this is my diary. People come and go out of my life, some on good terms and some not. I’d rather remember all the good things so I write them down. The bad things? Time deals with those memories in the best way possible, it fades them.

As for Myjah, I hope she never leaves my life even when she exits Boulder for a grand tour of southeast Asia.

I know I said it before but I’ll say it again (and in a public forum): You can always show up at my doorstep unannounced, either for dinner, drinks, or after landing in Boulder all jet lagged and starving with no place to stay. No need to call, I’ll keep the bed made up for you.

And finally, this …

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Have you ever seen such beautiful mini iris? The way they are mixed in with the snowdrops is just delightful and the color is positively underwater. I must get some of these for my garden.

 

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