Pamcakes has a lab/mutt dog named Blaze and his two favorite things to do are 1) killing and eating rabbits, and 2) decrapitating his toys.
Yes, that’s totally a real word. See?
Every since she adopted Blaze, Pamcakes has been on the hunt for a chew toy he can’t destroy in under ten minutes.
I was pretty psyched when I found what I call “The beast with 100 hearts” in the dollar bin at the pet supply store.
Actually, it only has six “hearts” but that’s five more than any other toy I’ve found. I wish I took a picture of it. It looks kind of like this:
Pamcakes dropped her son off for a playdate and I triumphantly presented her with it. What followed was by far the most interesting thing that happened to me today. Or ever.
Pamcakes gave the beast to Blaze and started the timer.
Seriously, I was about to take a shower but there was no way I could tear myself away with so much at stake. Pamcakes totally should have live-tweeted it even though she doesn’t know what tweeting is.
Blaze was going strong with no sign of stopping. Would he do it in under five minutes?
Seriously, this is the best thing ever. There I was, sitting naked on my toilet with my cat on my lap and riveted to the phone.
I never thought it would happen. DON’T STOP NOW BLAZE! YOU ARE STRIKING DISTANCE FROM MOTHERFUCKING GREATNESS!
Blaze is dead to me.