Kitchen Unicorn

Guest starring in someone’s kitchen is like being an Unicorn. I get to play with new tools and sample new dishes without having to deal with the marital disaster I leave in my wake. Not that I would know.

It Wouldn’t be Thanksgiving Without a Trump Supporter at the Table

You know that person who is always like, “Everyone always bites and tries hump me all the time!” maybe they are the asshole.

I Can’t Sleep

Hackers have not taken over my account. This is me blogging at 3AM which is almost as good as me drunk posting.

I’m Just Going to Leave These Pictures Here

So I took a bunch of pictures and did a bunch of great stuff in Paris and if you want to see them you can but if not, then don’t. I’ll never know.

Cat Dream and Coping Strategies

A woman noticed the cat in my shopping cart and said, “Oh those cats really shed,” and I was like, “It’s not problem, I always pick up a few of these when I go to the store. I got the brown tabby thing down.”

Then I picked up eight labrador retrievers in varying colors and headed home while trying to figure out the logistics of walking all these fucking dogs.