The Trouble With Mother’s Day


I usually spend Mother’s Day feeling sad and shitty about myself but I’m trying to make this day about things that matter.

Like snowy bouquets of Loony’s roses …

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Handmade declarations of love …

I love this! The little box with a dollar in it that he calls The Door of Riches

I love this!

This tiny safe called The Door of Riches …

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Handmade cards …

Scratchy

And sexy dance classes from one of my favorite pole artists …

Unfortunately it is a day that highlights my estranged relationship with my mother. I try to focus on the things that I appreciate about her and let the other stuff go but Mother’s Day always brings up doubts about my relationship, or lack thereof, with her.

Today my friend Maya posted this on Facebook.

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Click here to read this very interesting article about troubled parental relationships.

I am not saying that my situation was similar to the experiences the author wrote about, but the emotional fallout resonates and I needed to see this today.

I’ve had the great fortune of many wonderful women stepping into mothering roles at various stages of my life (Marcia, MaryAnn, Anita, Suzy) so I am nothing if not incredibly lucky.

MaryAnn is the best grandma ever

MaryAnn is the best grandma ever

I also have an amazing dad.

I sincerely hope no one relates to this article, but think about it when comforting a friend who has suffered a difficult childhood. Today is not the day to pile on guilt, even if it is meant well, about the power of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Today, just let it go.

I battle creeping guilt every day. I continue to question and judge myself for putting myself and my family first.

I am sorry that my mother isn’t getting flowers, cards and visits from a large and loving family. I am sorry she doesn’t feel the love of an extended clan of family and friends. But I can’t go there, the price of opening that door again is too high.

4 thoughts on “The Trouble With Mother’s Day

  1. Wow, Imaginary Friend…

    Yet another way we are similar. I closed the door on my father years ago. I have never regretted it. Life is too short to treated poorly by anyone. “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” 🙂

  2. Pingback: Pole Theater USA, Part 1: Fryelife | Vivienne's Process of Elimination

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