Post-Narcissistic Celebrity Jam Session


I had a doozy of a dream last night.

I dreamt I was both Ed Norton’s character and Tyler Durden (played by Brad Pitt) in Fight Club.

If you haven’t seen it, see it if for no other reason than to understand how unbelievably hot Brad was in it. And because it’s a great film (and novel).

I realize he is bloody and has a black eye but who's looking at his face?

I realize he is bloody and has a black eye but who’s looking at his face?

So I’m both guys who, as it turns out in the film SPOILER ALERT!!! are the same guy and we are MAKING OUT HARD with each other which means I was making out with myself.

But I’m more identifying with Norton being SUPER PSYCHED to be moshing with Brad.

Not that I wouldn’t be psyched to make out with Ed Norton or anything, but still, given the choice …

Norton in "American History X" Not my cup of tea.

Norton in “American History X” Not my cup of tea but GOOD FOR HIM for getting all super buff to play a reformed racist asshole murderer.

Very confusing yet incredibly hot.

Was it homo-erotic because it was two guys but not really because I’m a woman which makes it hetero but not really because since I was both people in the dream it’s now lesbo?

Clearly I listen to a lot of gay sex advice. I’m not gonna stop.

Then I woke up and my thumbnail kind of hurt.

I guess I clipped it too short but I don’t remember doing it and in my post narcissistic celebrity jam-session state-of-mind I was seriously concerned that I had contracted flesh-eating bacteria and how the hell was I supposed to blog with one hand and maybe only half a torso and face?

That flesh eating bacteria is no bueno.

I snapped out of my medical drama panic attack when I realized Timpano was crushing my legs and I pulled him up onto my chest …

Like this

Like this

And proceeded to have THE MOST EPIC MAKE-OUT SESH WITH HIM OR ANY CAT, EVER. ever.

Needless to say, I was 3o minutes late to the gym.

That cat rocks my world.

That Fucking Cat? Not so much, but they are “getting along” okay.

IMG_3145text

Timpano insists on using her litter box and eating out of the same bowl that she does, so far no vindictive urination like the last time, so maybe it’ll be okay?

She’s sleeping on Itchy’s bed because Timpy is too fat to haul is butt up to the top bunk.

IMG_3129

I hate everyone.

Jefé visited yesterday with little Snorkie. It’s his third day of paternity leave with no mom around to bail him out. He looked good.

Meanwhile I’m still working on the Save My Ass website, AKA, my association of Boulder short term renters.

I’m trying to build a solid case for why short term rentals like AirBnB and VRBO are good for Boulder and are not just a bunch of out-of-town asshole investors depriving Boulderites of affordable housing, as if such a thing existed in this town.

Everyone is all relieved about the city taking back their cease and desist letters and I’m all, “It’s only until they decide whether we are legal or not!” and it could be not.

Especially if no one does anything about it and leaves it up to crazy me to do all the talking. A little help?

Seriously people, don’t be afraid to speak up because you know who isn’t afraid to be heard? People against AirBnB, that’s who. Strength in numbers.

So I’m doing that and Nina is helping because I’m too old to remember how to build a website and I sure as hell don’t want decent citizens reading this blog for fuck’s sake.

Timpano helps in his own way.

I had a picture of Timpano between Nina and me but she threatened to kill me if I posted a bad selfie of her. I get it.

And I’m taking ceramics again.

Gotta love Tabby

Gotta love Tabby

Oh shit, and this happened!

Proof of a life wasted

Proof of a life wasted

 

One thought on “Post-Narcissistic Celebrity Jam Session

  1. Pingback: What I Need is a Cat Condo | Vivienne's Process of Elimination

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