I am deep in the throes of Halloween right now, hence the radio silence.
I have a love/hate relationship with Halloween.
I hate Halloween because I can’t get past the deep irony of buying candy to give to my kids one day and then essentially bribing them to give it up the next. Not to mention how Halloween has turned into a month-long event with candy everywhere.
On the other hand I love Halloween because, as Dan Savage so astutely observed, Halloween is Straight Pride Day. Not in a Isn’t being straight so much better than being gay kind of way, but in a It’s the one night that straight people can let their freak flag fly.
I can show up at a party wearing barely anything, party my ass off, pole dance in front of all the other parents at my kids’ school, and it’s totally okay.
And I also love making costumes. Like, almost more than anything in this world.
Not kid’s costumes, mind you, my costumes.
I have a deep love affair with appliqué, rick-rack, petticoats, boning, corsetry, and meticulous hand work.
I. Love. It.
Since I don’t live in the 19th century, Halloween is the one time I can get it on to my heart’s desire.
This year we (and by we I mean Carly) is throwing the gigantic Halloween party. The location is dope but the ceilings are low which rules out pole dancing.
I set up poles for the last two years and while it was fun to have pole dancers and to pole myself, it’s a colossal pain in the ass and that doesn’t even include all the political wrangling it takes to get my performers comped, much less paid. And I can’t really drink if I want to pole.
It also seriously limits what I can wear.
While I don’t mind being almost naked, I really felt like going all out this year with an elaborate costume. And no, this year I won’t be looking slutty. Sorry. I might even wear sensible shoes.
The theme of the party is Malice In Wonderland and I got all over Pinterest to get some ideas and I came across a slam dunk.
Like almost everything, I look at Halloween as a competition and, like I say about karaoke, “I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to win.” Which makes everyone scratch their heads because most people think of Halloween and karaoke as a non-competitive event.
I’m almost done with it, I’m saving the headpiece for this weekend when my dad (HI DAD!) and step-mom come in town. MaryAnn and I can puzzle out how to make it. Suffice to say, it’s even more baffling than figuring out the butterfly hat and the seaweed wig I made a for previous parties.
Click here for how to make this hat.
In other news, That Fucking Cat has been clamoring to get outside. She just stalks the fucking door until she gets her chance and out she goes. Like a flash! A furry, 5 pound flash of stupidity.
She came back looking like this.