Excuses, Excuses

Remember that post I wrote about saying no? I wrote it, like, 15 seconds ago.

The first test rolled in.

A few weeks ago I volunteered to help with the Scholastic book order for Testiclese’s class.

I volunteer because I think it’s bullshit that the teachers have to solicit help and it deeply embarrasses me (on behalf of all parents) when no one – NO ONE – steps up to the plate. So I put my name down and HOORAY! someone else did, too.

We got this email from the teacher:

Screen Shot 2014-09-29 at 8.27.30 AMI decided to sit on this for a few hours to see if the other mom would step up to the plate. I’m already signed up for a shitload of stuff this year and maybe she’s actually looking for a way to contribute. Hahahahahaha!

She replied with this weak shit:

Screen Shot 2014-09-29 at 8.27.43 AM

Oh! You have a cold at this moment? Do you anticipate having a cold for the next two weeks? Will this cold keep you from doing all the things? How will your family survive!?!

What’s that you say? You don’t know anything about computers? And would I by any chance have knowledge about the great cypher  of wires, circuit boards and scary technology that we call computer?


Well PRAISE THE LORD! It’s a miracle that you managed to receive, read and respond to the email! Did your five year-old child help you? Wonders never cease.

I can’t be too mad because, heck, I signed up for it so I’ll do it.

I’m sure this lady is a nice person but how about some directness? How about not signing up rather than pretending it’s about not understanding computers (sent from my Samsung Galaxy) and (cough, cough) I’m so sick right now.

My name was already on the sheet so you didn’t have to put yours down, too. So why? WHY?!?

I call this The Excuse Machine and it’s bullshit.


I also get that the irritation I feel at this poor lady (and I’m only calling her out because I’m positive she doesn’t read my blog because she doesn’t know how to work a computer) is actually misdirected irritation I feel at myself.

Hell, I’m just mad that she beat me to the no.

How about being direct … Vivienne

How about just saying no … Vivienne

How about instead of pretending that you can’t because of X, Y or Z  you own that you just don’t want to … Vivienne.

No excuses. You don’t need one … Vivienne

15 minutes into my NO! Challenge and I’m failing, although I’ll claim a technicality on account that I already made the commitment. I’d like to think of it as me steeling my resolve.

I’m afraid I’m turning into a seething ball of rage, which might be good for me. I stuff my feelings and anger and put on a happy face far too often.

But my dear friend Cao worries that I’m going to turn into this guy:


I think it’s sweet how she’s always monitoring my mental health via my blogs.

Don’t worry, hon. My violence tends to be of the psychological nature that usually manifests in physical pain in my body. Is it any surprise that I woke up with my back spasming. Again. For the third time this month?




3 thoughts on “Excuses, Excuses

  1. I would have told the teacher not to worry that the other mom and I would work on it together. Then you would go to her house and show her some basics with the computer. If it “got too much” for her you would take a break while she went and got you or made you a latte. 🙂

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