Let Me Think About It and Get Back To You

I have ton to write about folks, especially since it’s been at least 10 days since I’ve blogged.

Some would wonder if I am dead.

I had a house full of amazing pole dancers staying with me, shedding glitter and sequins all over the place …

Exhibit A

Exhibit A

I went to the Colorado Pole Championship (which was a fantastic night until it wasn’t) …

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Tracee Kafer, judge and guest performer

I got to fangirl the hell up with my pole idols hanging out at my house …

Selfying with Tracee Kafer, Pheonix Kazree and Brynn Route

Selfying with Tracee Kafer, Pheonix Kazree and Brynn Route

It was completely magical …

Reception dinner on my roof

Reception dinner on my roof

Tracee spent a whole week with me which was 100% delightful …

I felt like I was seeing Boulder through her eyes

I felt like I was seeing Boulder through her eyes

And I’m sure that if I think about it long enough I can come up with some stupid and embarrassing thing to report on. Like this:

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Was that out loud?

Anyway, lots of good stuff that I’m not going to write about because I’m too worn out and I don’t feel like it.

Yesterday Tabby led with a statement that would usually raise my hackles.

darkBut because it’s Tabby and because I truly trust her and know that she would never be mean to me (or horrible as she likes to say) I was eager to know.

Me: Do tell.

Tabby: Your problem is that you are nice to people.

I suspect she was candy coating it to avoid calling me a doormat.

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Tabby is my hero because she doesn’t think twice about ending a relationship, job or commitment once it stops working for her. She’s completely reliable and would never walk out of a commitment, but she knows when something no longer serves her needs and moves quickly to put a reasonable end to it.

And yes, she’s happily married.

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Tabby is demonstrating how to be “horrible” on the dogs.

Tabby is right, I’m the architect of my own doom and I must take responsibility for changing how I respond to requests.

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Ooh, harsh!

Saying, “Let me think about it and get back to you,” would be the equivalent of me going crazy on someone. But I’m going to try.

Let me think about it and get back to you. Let me think about it and get back to you. Let me think about it and get back to you.

The boys and I watched the last episode of Sherlock, season 4 (Have you seen it? It was NUTS!) and we were talking about how cruel Sherlock was to manipulate the feelings of a nice lady simply to gain the advantage in a case. It led to a conversation about  sociopathic behavior.

I told them that sociopaths don’t care how their actions might effect other people.

And then there is me, the anti-sociopath. I’m so concerned about what other people need that I often end up forgetting to factor in my own needs. What does this get me?

Pretty much what I deserve which right now looks like fatigue, ennui, cynicism, loneliness and the lack of desire to do anything but punch holes in my pottery.

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I’m obsessed with holes.

So that’s what I’m going to do.

Let me think about it and get back to you. Let me think about it and get back to you. Let me think about it and get back to you.

I’m not trying to humblebrag, by the way. This “selflessness” isn’t something I’m remotely proud of. It’s bullshit.

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It isn’t me being a giving person.

It’s me being afraid to say no because I want people to like me.

It’s me avoiding conflict.

I am in effect saying no to my family (who deserve yes more than anything) because I can’t say no to anyone else (who may or may not deserve a no).

It’s me being insecure and a chickenshit.

And it’s cruel because the fallout of too much yes can often mean relationship extinction, and that is horrible.

So for the next day (I’m aiming low) if someone asks me to do something I’m going to say, Let me think about it and get back to you.  Except for my kids because I can’t exactly tell them I’ll get back to them tomorrow when they ask for lunch.

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Then I’ll talk to Loony or Tabby or my dad (HI DAD!) before I say anything else.

Before I revel in some daytime TV (because that’s what I feel like doing) I’m going to leave you with these pictures:

This orange cat is so badass. I walked right by him with Blue and he was all, "What? I ain't moving for you."

This orange cat is so badass. I walked right by him with Blue and he was all, “What? I ain’t moving for you.” He could totally suffocate me in my sleep.

And my boy, because I love him so much.

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16 thoughts on “Let Me Think About It and Get Back To You

  1. I saw a friend while I was at the local thrift store, where she used work. She has acquired more clothes than she can possibly fit in her closets and the extra clothes racks in the middle of the rooms. Twice now I have helped her go through an enormous amount of stuff, the last time taking 5 hours. I was not offered refreshments or anything to eat the entire time. I ended up having to find things to snack on. I could not imagine having someone give me so much of their time and not have prepared a delicious meal, fresh brewed coffee and of course desserts. So when she asked me if I could come over and do it again I said,” No, I am working” Conversation over. 🙂

    • People must not have been raised right. I cook meals for people and provide beverages even when I pay them for their services, especially if it is a particularly nasty project. My problem is that I expect people to treat me the way I treat them when it’s probably unreasonable to do so. The only solution is to either say no or demand more in return.

      • What about telling the person who takes advantage about another “friend” and what she had done to someone you know. Did you get that? See how she responds. Some people are very clueless, and you are not. You are extremely generous and thoughtful so you would be hard to match. But even if the other person went half way it would be an improvement.
        Were you living next door with that freaky woman Lynn? Her brother(I will call him Joe) was seriously goony and thought he should get a babe. I told him that I “had a friend” who was very nice but not very good looking and always asked if the woman was beautiful before he was set up. I told Joe that “my friend” wasn’t a babe so why should he get a babe. Joe was pretty quick. Later on in the convo instead of asking me if the woman he was going to meet was a babe, he asked if she had a nice personality. 🙂

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