About 18 months ago I achieved escape velocity from Facebook.
It was a glorious six months. There was so much more time and so much less drama and hatred.
So I got back on.
But I had a super-top-secret alias, Secret Skwirl and I kept it for a long time until I realized that when Marlo Fisken or Natasha Wang or David Owen or Nadia Sharif (all pole deities, by the way) tagged me, I wanted people to know it was me and not a cartoon character.
You know, just in case they want to come to Boulder and hang out.
So I decided to go public and just use my real name.
Now, first I must explain that I use 1password to manage my log-ins and passwords. To make a long story short, I filled in my name and then activated 1password to fill in my FB password because I can’t remember that shit.
And instead it filled in my first, middle and last name as …
I could see it happening but I was powerless to stop or reverse it. I was all …
Facebook has a policy that you can only change your name every 90 days, so I’m stuck with this
retar stupid name.
For the first few weeks I got people posting this kind of shit to my wall.
And this …
I friend requested Kapi Huria, my latest pole crush.
Kapi is from New Zealand and no one ever heard of her until Nadia Sharif shared one of her videos. She wears ALL THE CLOTHES while doing crazy tricks, like putting on sock while busting a Pheonix, which isn’t on youtube so I can’t embed it here. Sorry.
Now she’s EVERYWHERE and I had to ask her some questions so I friended her. But I thought I should send her a private message to explain my dumb name.
Yep, she thought I was a robot. But we are friends. GOOD THING I MESSAGED HER!
I think I’ll keep my dumbass name.
Once again I deliver when it comes to amusing my friends. You’re welcome.
By the way, thanks to everyone who made me feel better yesterday; I was such an emotional wreck.
Even with just 24 hours of perspective, I can’t for the life of me understand why I was so destroyed by the cunthammer in the parking lot. Of course I know why I was upset about my mom. I still am, but I’m much more under control now.
I took Blue for a walk and we got caught in a rainstorm. Just as I was wondering how I was going to take a picture of us, I arrived at home to find My Asian Daughter on my porch.
She hadn’t read the post so I told her what happened and she was all, “What’s up with Boulder right now? Someone just called me a cunt.”
MAD: He cut me off so I honked. Then he stopped his car, opened the door and called me a fucking cunt.
Me: So what did you do?
MAD: I called HIM a fucking cunt! Then I egged his car.
Me: What? Where did you get the eggs?
MAD: I just went to the grocery store.