Oh Canada!

I’m not sure why this didn’t post a couple days ago. I did not go to Canada again, just in case you are mapping my movements. This came before Cape Cod.


I’m a little traumatized by the most recent leg of our trip. We left Midland around noon and crossed the Canadian border where we had a picnic lunch and swam in Lake Huron.

Passports, check!

Passports, check!

As a side note, I’m riding in the third row of the van (grandma gets the front) so I have been handing stuff up to Loony in the front, including the passports. After being checked at the border, he handed them back to me. But we didn’t realize the he dropped his between the seats which made for a rather interesting re-entry into the US. Suffice to say, I was wondering if I was truly losing it.

On Lake Huron

On Lake Huron

We found a park just over border and spent a wonderful afternoon there.

I think we'll be returning to Boulder with 10 pounds of rocks and shells.

I think we’ll be returning to Boulder with 10 pounds of rocks and shells.

Someone was flying a kite. We hit the road once the late afternoon clouds started rolling in and pressed onto St. Catherine’s to shack up in Canada’s Best Value Motel. I’m not sure about the best value, but the internet rocked my world. We had breakfast at Tim Horton’s (when in Rome and all) and I can safely say that I don’t feel compelled to do that ever again.

I hate to be all Bouldery but I felt dirty.

I hate to be all Bouldery but I felt dirty, and not in a fun way.

We hit Niagara Falls, which has grown up considerably in the thirty years (oh shit) since I visited with my mother during one of those storied summers in Newark, NJ. It felt a lot like Disneyland where you have to stand in line for ages to do anything.

Waiting in line forever. And it wasn't even that busy!

Waiting in line forever. And it wasn’t even that busy!

We stood in line for about 90 minutes to see this view from behind the falls. We quickly came to the conclusion that looking at it from the free overlooks made the most sense.

It only cost us $20 to park so we could see this for free. Given that we have a few days to kill, we decided to go to Cape Cod. It wasn’t originally on our itinerary but when you have four extra days of vacation, why not drive as far as humanly possible? Buffalo, Upstate New York, Massachusetts, we did it all … yesterday.

Buffalo had a lot of beautiful architecture and classic Americana.

Buffalo had beautiful architecture and classic Americana.

We intended to stop at a motel before we reached the cape, figuring that we would be more likely to find a vacancy on a Saturday night if we stayed inland.

Why sleep?

Why sleep?

It turns out that Jimmy Buffet was playing and every single hotel was booked solid. What?! While Loony stopped into the sixteenth shitty motel in the middle of nowhere I entertained myself by evesdropping on many a drunk, middle-aged woman in flowing dress loudly talking shit.

“She fucking said what?!”

“Right? What a fucking bitch!”

“She was fucking talking to the wrong fucking person if she thought she could talk that shit about you!”

“That fucking bitch is crazy.”

“I fucking know!”

Suddenly I feel much better about how much I swear. Ultimately we arrived at the cape and stayed at the Days Inn. It was around 2am before I got to bed and delirious is the best way to describe my state of mind as I went to bed.


I invited the boys to join me in the back row for conversation and games.

I woke up four hours later just as delirious.

Yes, that's toothpaste on my lip. So tired.

Yes, that’s toothpaste on my lip. So tired.

I hate to wax rhapsodic about a corporate chain, but after eating fried potatoes for breakfast, lunch and dinner, the quinoa salad and fruit cup at Starbucks made me so happy. That and the really strong coffee.

I was unreasonably happy to find this salad.

I was unreasonably happy to find this salad. It must have been exhaustion.

We rolled into Cape Cod in the middle of the night and saw our first glimpse in the morning. It’s just as picturesque as I had been led to believe, even if it was decidedly contrived at times. I am most amused by the limp attempts to look beachy, like this meagre attempt. Authentic Ah well. Sometimes it’s hard to get it up.

2 thoughts on “Oh Canada!

  1. Pingback: Sometimes You Have To Read Between the Lines | Vivienne's Process of Elimination

  2. Pingback: My Southern Relations | Vivienne's Process of Elimination

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