An Actual Conversation About Bees

I originally titled this post “Men Are From Mars, My Husband is from Uranus” but that would be kind of rude. So I gave it a less biased title and you can decided who is from Uranus.

We just had a swarm move into the tree in front of our house, something that we are both delighted about (said without a hint of irony). We love honeybees. The happy, non-stinging kind.

But if one of (insert anything here: hive of bees, vintage scooter, ten speed bike from the 80s, Air Supply album because I thought having one was kind of funny and ironic but having 20 is a bona-fide collection which is not funny, it’s creepy, automatic cherry pitter – why have just one -, you name it) is good, an infinite number of (same thing) is better.

This is what I deal with every day.

Loony: The people across the street had to move their beehive because the bees were aggressive and stinging people.

Me: Wow, that’s unfortunate. Where did they move them to?

Loony: Longmont. But after a few weeks we could probably move them to our backyard hive.

Me (incredulous): But didn’t you just say they are aggressive and sting?

Loony: Yes.

Me: And we have client parking right next to the hive?

Loony: Yes.

Me: And don’t you think it would be bad if they stung our guests? And us?

Loony: I thought you wanted more bees.

Me: Not aggressive ones that sting!

Loony: What’s your point?

Me: (About to blow up but I chose peace and walked out of the room)

I’m trying really hard to not be the human detonator all the time (even though that’s exactly what happened this morning) so I turned the other cheek.

If he brings of hive of angry bees to our house, I’m going to kill him.

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22 thoughts on “An Actual Conversation About Bees

  1. Well, if they show up one day, you know, like, if Uranus decides to move them and all, you would always secretly put some sort of flowery substances in his boxers and all. Just a random thought. 😉

  2. Basil and I had an “assertive” hive once.( Beekeepers like to use all kinds of adjectives to describe aggressive behavior) I was walking by our house on the street when a very “assertive” bee came after me. My hair was down, I had a big straw hat on. I could only hear a very loud angry buzzing by my ear. I was flailing my head back and forth while Basil kept on telling me that I needed to be perfectly still, which of course is not my natural reflex. After several minutes of Basil searching my head(while I was be very still mind you) he said sorry he couldn’t find it. That is when I yelled, “FIND THE BEE AND KILL IT” So he figured out the approximate area where the bee was and slapped my head. hahah He is much more experienced now…hahahh. Naturally the bees had to find a new home. 😉

    • The bees that Loony was coveting had their hive attacked by bears in Nederland, hence their “protective” behavior. Whatever, I don’t want them in MY yard! Nice to hear from you!

    • I don’t know much about bumble bees EXCEPT THAT I LOVE THEM! I saw a documentary that explained how their hive worked, they are underground nesters. I’m not sure how one cultivates a hive but please keep me informed. I’m very interested.

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