Today, Father’s Day, I got definitive proof that Scrotus is beyond the shadow of a doubt my child.
Just a few days ago I got proof that Testiclese is my son, so it is opportune that his brother’s legitimacy should be validated so soon.
After my Mother’s Day disaster, I have been trying to make an effort to acknowledge holidays. Although I admit, to my deep chagrin, that we missed Grandma Mac’s birthday.
I need to set my calendar to remind me about her birthday a week in advance.
I instructed the boys to make a card for their dad to go along with the bottle of Balvenie I picked up on the way home from the pool yesterday.
I mean, what says Father’s Day more than a big bottle of 43 proof booze?
Testiclese came up with a standard issue handmade card and Scrotus presented him with this …
Me: Where did you get that card?
Scrotus: In your card drawer.
Me: It’s not a Father’s Day card.
Scrotus: It’s okay, I crossed out the Happy Birthday.
I almost told him to find another card because this one wasn’t appropriate, but then I thought, heck, this is much more interesting. And much more Fryelike.
I have a box of all purpose cards in my office, mostly the freebies I get in the mail and the odd vintage card Loony picks up at garage sales.
And then there’s this one.
I bought it a few years ago for Loony’s birthday but I didn’t have the heart to give it to him so it went into the box. And of the 200+ cards in there, my son picks out this one.
I was musing with Lemony about it.
Me: Why would he pick that card?
Lemony (and her husband, in unison): Because he’s your son.
That he is.
He’s also this guy’s son …
We snuck into the bedroom this morning with the Scotch, a cup of coffee and cards in hand. Loony majestically feigned sleep so we could wake him up to present the generous booty.
As I had hoped, he got a good laugh out of Scrotus’s card.
This family loves a good laugh and inappropriate use of language and all things embarrassing.
Speaking of inappropriate, I had another pole party last night.
Frankly, I’m too tired (but not hung over!) to do it justice. But I did try to restrain myself from attacking Nadia Shariff.
It was a fun party and I have tons of video of Marlo torturing people’s feet and Moneypenny, hilariously drunk, and Nadia teaching us the butt bounce, but it will have to wait.
Well, maybe a little teaser …
Since Nina was there, I don’t feel as much urgency to post about the party because I am largely motivated by my desire to please her. And make her jealous.
Speaking of jealous …
We didn’t get Marlo to take her shirt off, but she did touch her boob.
I have to go clean some toilets now.
Happy Father’s Day everyone (Dad!)