I have to get this blog done tout suite because I’m feeling more than a little guilty about being such a lush and probably should try to better the world in some way …
… as soon as I post about last night’s tequila party.
As you know, Marlo Fisken, David C. Owen, and Nadia Shariff are in town to train and I generally try to stay out of their way.
I mean, I don’t want them to feel like they have to sing for their supper but who am I kidding?
I totally want them to sing! Actually, dance BUT THEY NEVER DO!
I swear, it would be easier to get a room full of middle aged moms to pole dance than a bunch of professional pole dancers.
But whatever, I try to keep my general enthusiasm in check out of respect for their need to not always be on stage.
But then something happens. Something like this.
Lemony wanted to come over for happy hour and I happen to love it when people invite themselves over to my house. No joke. I like it.
Deferring to my guests, I asked Nadia what her beverage of choice is and she said that she isn’t drinking tequila anymore because it makes her loud and obnoxious.
Of course, I chucked her wishes right out the window because I saw before me a great opportunity.
Here we go.
Nadia and David are super tired from all the training they’ve been doing so I thought a low-key evening at home would be a good idea. With tequila.
Nadia is such a good sport. She’ll smile for any picture and pose with anything I give her. Like this breast mug. We have a matched set.
Yep, that’s Dr. Ken, Pole Ninja (AKA DKPN) stepping out of his comfort zone …
… and Joe
Did I mention it had tequila in it?
Nadia approached the tequila with hesitation because she said the last time she drank it, a friend of hers was being all obnoxious and to stave off a larger confrontation, she went ahead and slapped her just to prove to the larger crowd that it “was handled.”
That slapping thing kind of stuck in my head. As did this …
But it was the slapping thing that really cracked me up and I’m not sure exactly what precipitated it (except for a lot of tequila), but I kind of jumped on Nadia when she was on the floor and slapped her (ON THE FACE!) and then tried to get her to wrestle me.
Let’s just say that she wasn’t into it.
It was some kind of inappropriate show of bravado but I fear it might not have gone over well.
Perhaps you can see it in your heart to forgive me (if you even remember) and take comfort in knowing that at least you aren’t the one who has to apologize.
Moving right along, I also got it in my head that I was going to see me some boobies.
Nadia and Lemony were happy to oblige …
I guess having international fame and a professional reputation to protect might contribute to her reticence, but man, she does not cave to peer pressure.
I won’t repeat what Nadia called her in an effort to get her to take her shirt off. Marlo didn’t even consider it, not for a second.
In fact, she responds to taunts by becoming beatific. Like in this picture where I’m rubbing up against her (geez, I’m sorry about that Marlo)
… but she did throw us a little, tiny bone.
Since we were on the topic of human tricks, I brought Loony out to impress the crowd.
I also brought out the Spirit Stick which I have to emphasize that I DID NOT BUY. This is a garage sale find.
I’ve always wondered what David is like when he drinks and I was a little disappointed to find that he is pretty much exactly like he is all other times. Measured, articulate, careful about his words.
Slapping Nadia aside, and rubbing my boobs on Marlo, and taking my shirt off and doing headstands, and loudly demanding that Ken take his pants off and dance goddammit (wait, that was Joe) it was a lovely evening.
Lemony called me before I went to bed to shriek in my ear about slapping Nadia and being “one crazy bitch.”
I’m coming to terms with the fact that although Lemony talks all crazy, I’m actually the nuts one. I’m Laverne and she’s Shirley! Who knew?
She was all, “You better call me first thing in the morning.” Which I did when I woke up at 6AM to walk the stupid dog and clean the kitchen.
But she didn’t answer. Quelle bonne surprise.
“I am dying to know what you will be thinking in the morning.”
Well, now you know.
(Nadia, I’m REALLY sorry I slapped you)