I haven’t felt like writing much lately. I’ve been caught between wanting to live life and feeling the need to write about it.

To do or to write? That is the question.

But my dad probably wants to know if 1) I’m still alive and 2) what’s going on.

Yes. I’m still alive. Here’s what’s going on. I’ll start with the good news.

Sue and Dr. Wu had their baby and I got right in there to get me some fresh baby meat. What an adorable little snorker!

Moneypenny competed at the Pacific Pole Championship and WON HER DIVISION! WOOT! I’ll post the video once it becomes available.

After a few failed attempts to progress That Fucking Cat from the red ring on the Litter Kwitter to the orange ring (failed attempt is a nice way of saying the cat shit on the floor), Tabby recommended I tape a pie plate to the bottom and slowly increase the size of the hole. It worked!

She’s even gotten a few turds in the hole and I blissfully flushed them away. Today is the first day she’s gone sans pie plate, cross your fingers.

Speaking of places to pee, the studio got a waterless urinal. Guess what? Urinals aren’t just for men anymore! Joe installed them and I got in there tout suite and christened it. I still don’t know how those things work.

I got some other women to follow suit and use it themselves. HA!

I’ve been “enjoying” the schitzo Colorado Spring. It can literally be 70 degrees one minute and snowing the next. I’ve learned to seize the day when it comes to walking the dog, lest I end up trudging around in the snow. Which I hate.

Sunny and delightful.

Snowy and hateful.

I also decided to start a 90 day challenge. It was Heather’s idea. What do I want? The splits!

So every day I train my splits for 10 minutes. This is Day One. Hopefully in three months I will be able to juxtapose these pictures with some rockin’ splits.

I even started a Facebook page and invited anyone to join. You’d be surprised how many people want to participate. It’s a lively group to say the least.

I got a good snort out of this photo in some catalogue. Who styled this photo shoot? Who wears pumps with yoga shorts? Platforms with booty shorts? Yes. Long, thigh covering bike shorts? What’s wrong with you?

Most of all this week I’ve been reveling in my kids. We are in such a good place right now. I have to sneak in and kiss their sweet little faces while they sleep because they won’t let me do it when they are awake.

And finally, I’ve been spending tons of time in the studio. I picked up a few classes to sub and have been all gung-ho about taking classes.

The other day I saw a video of Amy Guion doing a rather complex combination. I thought that maybe I could do it.

In class that evening, I talked Waeli (AKA My Asian Daughter or MAD) into teaching it to me.

So many of the moves were new to me, advanced and scary, so the video has her spotting me throughout. It’s sloppy and clunky and MAD had to push my ass up the pole but I just learned it and am pretty proud of myself.

I’d like to work on it for a few weeks and record it again. Consider it a work in progress.

Now it’s time to get back to my professional toilet cleaning and purging. It’s springtime y’all.