I’m Still Alive

I haven’t blogged since last week and I’m fairly certain that I have a message on my phone from my dad (Hi Dad!) inquiring about my well-being.

I’m fine, just too “busy” having a good time to write.

Bettyfest in Keystone with Pamcakes and the crew was fantastic. We ate copious amount of fondu, slept, hardly drank at all (it’s true), did a little snowshoeing and monitored the oxygen levels of a pneumonia stricken Betty while indulging in some truly disturbing youtube videos. It was divine.

BettyBarb, despite her elegant looks, was ruthless at poaching other people's food. "Are you going to finish off your raclette?" she asked while lifting away their plates before they could answer.

BettyBarb, despite her elegant looks, was ruthless at poaching other people’s food. “Are you going to finish off your raclette?” she asked while lifting away their plates before they could answer.

I wanted to make sure that Loonie knew that I wasn’t sneaking off to the mountains to engage in an illicit affair with a 22 year-old.

Pamcakes wondered if he was genuinely worried that I am having an affair and I was like, “I’m a very sneaky person. I would be afraid if I was him.”

But not really because I love that guy and no one can hold a candle to him.

But just in case, PROOF!

PROOF! Me and Pamcakes.

Me and Pamcakes. It’s a little disturbing that 90 minutes of snowshoeing did little to put a dent in balancing out our caloric intake from the fondu the night before.

I talked Pamcakes into bringing her Cringe Party winning letter to Bettyfest. I did my best to read it, but it wasn’t the same without Tabby.

Pamcakes' Cringe Party winning letter made an encore appearance at Bettyfest.

Pamcakes’ Cringe Party winning letter made an encore appearance at Bettyfest.

PFC provide the deluxe accommodations for the weekend AND gives great foot massages and, ahem, medical advice. She and I share an affinity for the disgusting, too.

After she massaged my feet, PFC showed me the most disturbing video ever. Half the Betties had to leave the room.

After she massaged my feet, PFC showed me the most disturbing video ever. Half the Betties had to leave the room. I had to go to bed afterward because I was feeling a little shaky.

So yes, Bettyfest was wonderful. I hope I get invited back next year.

Moving right along, I got back home to a full house. Tracee Kafer from Body and Pole in NYC was already at my house. She heard that Vertical Fusion is a pretty nice place to visit and she graced the studio with her wonderful workshops.

I hope she comes back soon so I can learn more from her.

After her Find Your Freestyle workshop.

After her Find Your Freestyle workshop.

I got to dance with Dr. Ken, something I didn’t think I’d ever have the opportunity to do. Tracee led a partnering exercise where we fed each other movement which was more like me turning him into my avatar and vice versa.

Since he literally can do anything on the pole, I let my imagination run wild. I got a little sadistic creative and for a moment we made something beautiful.

He held out on me the next day at her reception by refusing to take his shirt off.

Spoilsport

Spoilsport

I don’t need any convincing the pole dancing is the best workout ever, but I got an immense kick out this because 1) Dirdy Birdy is in it 2) It shows pole dancers doing the exact same exercises, only with heels and looking totally hot.

And speaking of workouts, here’s a little snippet from Tracee’s class Spin Transitions workshop. She has the sassiest walk around the pole, which I tried to imitate in my Eagle.

And here’s something from Waeli’s choreography class. I limped away from her class more worked than I have ever felt from any aerobics class.

This is the result of about 50 minutes of instruction so my lines aren’t quite on, but I love how much we can learn in a relatively short period of time.

Waeli’s choreography style leans much more to the lyrical side so when she promised us a “sexy” class, I baited her mercilessly. She delivered. I love Waeli.

Now I must get back to my much less interesting existence as a professional toilet cleaner.

10 thoughts on “I’m Still Alive

    • PFC sent me the link. I’m going to warn you, it’s fucking disgusting. Imagine an old man with a pus filled zit the size of a woman’s breast on his back, and it’s getting milked. The person videoing it actually threw up. I got rather woozy from it all.

      You’ve been warned.

  1. PFC, here – the video link is on the way. And I will say without a doubt that Viv makes an excellent Betty…she’s official. There’s an initiation ceremony; very secret stuff.

  2. I love watching the tape of the pole dancers doing the same stuff as the body builders. The exercises remind me of what I do in yoga and in kick boxing. But I can not imagine doing burpees (which are brutal enough with snickers)in heels. I just think it would be so painful for the body, my body anyway. 🙂 I look at it and think “ouch”

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