I haven’t been posting lately because I have been too busy partying my ass off.

Who knew that 40 could be so crazy?

A mom from the school came up to me at pick up and said, “I have a random request.

Me: Shoot.

Her: Can you find a man and a woman to dress up in vegetable costumes and give lap dances at my party?

Me: Done.

Hell, I thought she was going to ask me for something hard. Apparently I have become the go-to person for talent of the “exotic” nature. Seriously, who knew?

This is a job I can get used to. Anyway, it has been party, party, party around here, interspersed with a day here and there to recover.

Amazingly enough, I have managed to escape without being hungover. These guys, not so much.

I’m the fucking Bionic Woman!

I can do Jello shots and drink tequila from jalapeño peppers all night and not be hung over!

I did have to babysit PYT (and if you don’t know what that means, you probably aren’t old enough to read my blog, but it’s okay Dad, you can message me if you need me to break it down).

Twerkasaurus wowed everyone

I patted his back while he worshipped the porcelain god and was all, “There, there.”

I tucked him into the guest room (GUEST ROOM LEMONY!) and cooked him breakfast the next morning before Loony dropped him off at the studio.

He made small talk like, “So, how long have you lived in Boulder?”

Me: Twenty-two years. I moved here in 1991.

PYT: Wow, that’s the year I was born!

Me: Please, don’t speak. It spoils the moment.

But I must say, it was all very fatiguing, all the ordering about of hot young people.

I love my “job”

Yesterday all I could say in the Norwegian Nanny’s mixed levels pole class was, “I’m so tired.” It was like a mantra.

Anyway, off to volunteer at the school!